Battles

Chapter 4

Katniss P.O.V.

"Please be still," I groan as I rub a hand across my stomach. "Mommy is really tired right now and I've had a really bad day, so please just let me go to sleep."

I'm so tired and so desperate for sleep at this point that tears are falling down my cheeks.

"Please, Willow," I sob. She responds with a hard kick, and I wince a little bit. "Mommy's not trying to be grouchy right now, but I can't handle this. I am so scared right now. I can't… I can't lose you or your Daddy, and I know I'm supposed to stay calm right now, but I am completely terrified."

My heart hurts so much right now. All I want is for Peeta to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be okay, but Peeta's the main reason that I'm terrified. I thought I had him forever, but then he was taken from me by Snow. I get him back, and he's not himself, but at least he knows me and doesn't think I'm a mutt.

Then I lose him again, and I may never get him back this time. And now, Coin is threatening Peeta's life. It's too much.

I sit up in the bed and put my head in my hands.

"I love you, Willow. I promise I do," I say truthfully. "I just… I can't do this without your Daddy."

Willow eventually calms down, and I lay back down on the bed. I close my eyes again, but it's impossible for me to go to sleep. My mind is racing, trying to find a way out of this mess.

Even though I don't want to put myself at risk, I feel guilty that Peeta is being threatened all because I refuse to kill Snow. This wouldn't be an issue if it weren't for Willow.

And that's when the awful, unwanted thought crosses my mind.

I wish I wasn't pregnant.

"Oh my gosh. I didn't mean it," I say as I quickly sit back up on the bed. "I didn't mean it! I didn't meant it! I didn't mean it, Willow! I promise Mommy didn't mean it!" I cry as I rub both of my hands over my stomach.

"Mommy's just really tired and upset and I didn't mean it."

It feels like the walls are closing in on me, and I finally can't take it anymore. I have to get out of here.

I use the bed to push myself up to my feet, and then I head for the hallway.

I have tears falling down my face, and I know I look awful since I haven't slept much in the last few days, but I don't care. There's not very many people roaming the hallways at this time of night anyways.

"Katniss."

I turn around to see Haymitch walking towards me.

"I thought I'd never find you," he says before giving me a concerned look. "You okay?"

I shake my head. "I'm just wore out from where I've had such a bad day," I reply. "And I have a feeling that you're about to make it worse."

Haymitch takes a deep breath. "Let's get you back to your room. You need to sit down."

I immediately feel sick to my stomach.

"That's never good," I say. "Haymitch, what's going on?"

"Katniss, I really think you should sit down for this."

"Just tell me," I plead.

Haymitch takes a deep breath. "It's Peeta."

I bite my lip. "I thought you said you'd watch over Peeta so Coin couldn't get to him," I say angrily.

"Katniss, this isn't something Coin did or had done," Haymitch replies calmly. "I promise you that the only three people who have been in Peeta's room are Prim, Finnick, and myself."