Falling in Reverse

Finley's photo flashback

Flashback to 8th grade:

Andy and I were sitting on the park bench one day when my mom pulled up in her car from work. She got out of the car, slammed the door, and walked over to me. She was on the phone and seemed to be pissed off. Andy looked at me and I kept talking to him until my mom walked over to me.

'Finley Marie Grayson, we need to go now,' my mom yelled at me. Andy looked like he was broken hearted as I was carted off to the car. He watched as I was thrown in the trunk of my mom's Honda and the car took off. When we got home my dad was waiting for us.

'What the hell, Finley. You expect us to be happy with your school work when you have Cs and Bs?' I looked down and refused to look at my parents. My mom caressed my hair and then suddenly grabbed it and yanked my hair back. My dad's fist suddenly connected with my jaw and I blacked out.

After hours of laying in the dark, I picked myself up and walked into the bathroom to examine the damage. I wasn't shocked with what I had received, a yellowish blue black eye and handprint bruises on my check, arms, and side. Andy was going to be furious with me. After another hour of debating with myself, I opened the cabinet behind the mirror. The only place my secrets were safe since my parents didn't know about that renovation.

There in a box were the tiny scraps of metal that I lived on. I pulled out the box and looked at the metal. Shit,I'm going to need more blades. My head told me. I pulled up my sleeve, there in perfect lines stood the scars of the past and present. I slide a blade out of the box and placed the tip carefully on my skin, bit down to be sure my parents didn't hear me, pressed the tip in, and ripped it across my skin.

The blood dropped slowly at first, then faster and faster until the counter and skin were covered with blood. I wanted to be dead and thinking that I thought of a poem that I lived on.

"She paints a pretty picture, but there's a shocking twist. the paintbrush is a razor and the canvas is her wrist. She paints a pretty picture with paint that's warm paint, that's blood red. Finished with her picture, she finally ends up dead. Her pretty pictures are fading, and blood's no longer racing through her. She painted a pretty but see the picture had a shocking twist. Her mind was a razor and her heart was her wrist."

I laughed silently to myself as I watched to blood flow. the darkness was coming closer and I texted Andy telling him that I loved him and then the darkness swallowed me. I woke up and from the pale green walls knew I was back were I started. Andy's concerned face broke my heart.

'Finley, why did you do it,' Andy asked. 'Because, my family didn't care, no one cared, and' I referenced my side. 'can I' Andy asked pointing to my gown. I nodded in agreement. Andy's face broke once he saw the handprints. 'Who did this?' 'My parents.' 'I'll get them thrown in jail for this, Finley. this is wrong and completely unacceptable.'

I knew it was wrong but I couldn't do anything about it. Every time that I spoke up or out I got hit either by parents or bullied or my head abused me. Andy reached for my arm and bumped my wrist. I cussed under my breathe and Andy looked concerned.

'It's nothing,' I said looking at my wrist. Andy's hand carefully uncovered my wrist to discover my latest marks. 'Finley,' Andy's voice crept from concerned to panicked. 'it's nothing, Andy.' 'That's not nothing Finley. Saying that you have no friends is nothing. That is something, if anything it's hurting yourself Finley.'

After hours later my parents showed up and Andy went to use the restroom. my dad looked pissed as hell, and my mom well... my mom looked like she wanted to punch something and I was the target. After three days I was released to my parents. My parents refused to talk to me and threw me in my room.

'Finley Marie Grayson, you are grounded and there will be no more fun in this house. we have given you all you have ever asked for and this is how you repay us.' My mom screamed at me. 'You are such a failure. You little effing screw up. I wish you were never born,' my dad's voice slurred.

'It's not my fault that you both forgot to wear a condom that night.' I whispered. My entire body hurt that night from how abusive my parents got that night, and the house had never wreaked of so much alcohol and smoke. I grabbed the biggest bag I could find and shoved all my clothes in them.

I walked out of the house and towards Andy's small apartment. I called him but didn't get an answer