Falling in Reverse

Crying Just Means That You've Been Strong For Too Long

Finley's POV:

'What the hell are you doing, Andy? I have to be home at six,' I yelled at Andy as we left the school grounds. 'You are going to explain it all to me, Finley." Andy cautioned with me "Why should I, I dont need to be anyone elses charity case.' 'Finley, you need to tell me, and the reason is because I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU.' "FINE,' I practically spat at Andy.

'I cut, starve, and hurt more than anything. And why you might ask, I cut because I can't stand keeping everything inside and I don't trust people. It's not you when it comes to trusting people, Andy. I starve because I feel like a loser and am called fat everyday. And, I hurt more than anything because I have severe depression and bipolar disorder. I can't stand life because of my family and I can never speak my mind or at all. At night I cry myself to sleep at night, my parents abuse me and I have tried to kill myself on several occasions.' I couldn't believe that I had practically just told my life story to my boyfriend.

i was swearing at myself now. Andy now knew my story and I was going to die because no one was supposed to know my story. I had finally found love and planned on making my life seem like a fantasy but now... Oh God, I went to far, Andy was going to worry about me 24/7 now and I didn't fucking need that again.

"Finley, I didn't know," Andy looked into my eyes.'I didn't know that you lived that life, all my time knowing you I knew something was wrong with you but I always assumed it was just a faze that you would eventually grow out of. I'm so sorry Finley.' Andy was now driving and crying at the same time. 'Andy fucking pull over, this is dangerous.'

We pulled over and sat in the car. Andy looked at me and his blue eyes made me fall for him. I started crying and Andy tried to comfort me but I couldn't be comforted. My life was a mess and the world was falling around me. I was breaking again and I hated myself for it. This wasn't going to work and I felt aweful for putting Andy through the hell that was my life. I was just done and I was a gonner.