The Disappearing Act

Chapter 2: Her

"These four lonely walls have changed the way I feel
I'm standing still
And nothing else matters now, you're not here
So where are you?
I'm missing you.
Where else can I go?
Chasing you.
Memories turn to dust
Please don't bury us,
I got you
Running running running running...
Ain't running from myself no more;
Together we'll win it all
I'm ready to face it all
If I lose myself, I lose it all."

-Naughty Boy, Runnin'

Month 1.

When Ms Anderson came to my door, the day after my picnic with her son, I smiled and welcomed her in. 

"Hi, Ms Anderson, my parents are out at the moment" I greeted warmly, "But I've just put the kettle on, I can make you a brew if you'd like?"

She stared blankly at me, as if she couldn't process what I was saying. I knew then that something was wrong, as she edged into the hall I caught a glimpse of a bruise almost fully hidden by concealer. 

"Looks sore," I commented, "How did you do that?"

"No thank you Diana. Can I ask, why did you and Roman end the night whilst it was still young?" She ignored my question and her tone was strangely cold, brittle too as if her the smallest thing would send her over the edge. 

"My sister, Phoebe, caused a bit of a fuss. I had to come home." I explained awkwardly. "Is there something wrong?" 

Ms Anderson frowned slightly as if she was thinking for an answer. Instead, she rummaged in her pockets and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and thrust it in my hand. 

I read his scrawling words, each one piercing my heart. My breath caught in my throat as I read the last sentence.

P.s Tell Diana I'm sorry and that I love her.

"End what?" I said in an oddly strangled tone, "End what, Ms Anderson?" 

"Goodbye Diana."

It would have been easier if he had renounced me. Knowing that Roman loved me yet had left without a goodbye pained me more than any heartbreak. I knew he would never have done it without a cause.

Ms Anderson turned to leave, but my question stopped her.

"Did he do that?" My voice was meek and I barely dared to ask. "The bruise? Is that why he left?"

"Don't assume. Completely unrelated, I walked into a door. Obviously my mind has been elsewhere recently." She snapped. 

"We have to tell someone, the police, make posters!" I took a new frenzied energy as my ideas spilled over my lips desperately. 

"Stop it!" Ms Anderson hissed, "Shut up! You understand nothing you stupid girl. Don't you see? Don't you see! He said don't look for him! He wants to be alone, which doesn't include you. He's gone and there's nothing I or you can do. The police won't care- there's written evidence he doesn't want to be found!" Her voice was getting louder and more hysterical. It had drawn the attention of Fi who was leaning over the banister at the top of the stairs. If Ms Anderson saw her, she didn't take any notice. 

"And this is not my fault! He didn't leave because I walked into a fucking door- and I don't know why he left so don't ask me that." She added sharply, "But what I do know is this. If you hadn't left my son last night, he might be here with us today!" 

With that, she left and slammed my door behind her.

I couldn't breathe. I sunk to my knees, sobs wracking through my body; she was right. If I had not left him, I could have told Roman I loved him too. Loved him more than anything.