The Most Cliche Fanfiction You Will Ever Read With A Twist

1: A nEw ScHoOl YaY (even tho thats what i did in my most popular fanfic)

Godddddddddd I hate writing in first person this is going to be absolute hell jesus fucking christ lets get to it i guess

I walk into the new school, my blonde hair that turns blue halfway down making me stand out. I'm wearing a black sweater and black hightop converse that go to my knees making me look like an edgy hoe, along with the black and white striped leggings and fingerless skeleton gloves. They just look cool, but I'm also probably going to get bullied since in this timeline, everything is meant to be cliche and God has a sick sense of humor.

Here the bullies come, and for some reason, they ALL have blonde hair and tan skin. I have pale skin and a red face, making it look like I'm blushing all the time. Same with my arms. It's pale and r e d, and I hate it.

"You're the new girl, right?" The leader asks, knowing damn well that I'm new.

"Y-yeah, why?" My anxiety made me stutter, like what the actual fuck.

The popular twat pushes me, but I don't fall because I'm literally fucking 5'9, and she's 5'5, with all of her minions being like 5'3.

"Wh-wHAT??? How did you not fall???!!!!!!" She yells, bamboozled by my height-superiority-complex.

"The emo chicks ALWAYS fall!!!!! I will get you one day, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way!!!!" She says, storming off with her minions to terrorize some other emo girl who happens to be new, or something.

"My name's Claire........" I mutter, quietly, wondering what she had read in order to reference a very shitty Harry Potter fanfiction.

I shrug and walk to my locker, with the feeling that I'm being watched. I turn around and there's a girl with brown hair and green eyes wearing plaid and a denim skirt with leggings.

"You're the new girl, right?"

"Yeah, why???"

"There haven't been any new girls in a long time. That girl that just bullied you is Heather, her closest 'friends' are Brittney, and Chelsea. But Heather basically OWNS the entire school, so you should watch out. I'm Olive."

"I'm Claire, but why do you care so much?"

"Because you're the protagonist who needs the comedic relief friend, so I was destined to take that role. My hair's even brown, like most of the comedic reliefs in the fanfics."

"Makes sense. So, why is Heather after ME, specifically?"

"Since you're the protagonist, she feels threatened by you. Sorry, but at least you'll get the hot guy."

"I just want to eat ramen noodles and perish, I did not ask for any of them."

"Too late. Now let me see your schedule."

"Okay???" I say, handing it to her.

"WOW!!!" She yells.

"What???"

"You have all of your classes with me, AND your love interest!!!!! What are the odds????"

"I'm not looking for romance thou-"

"He's in an emo band."

"Maybe I'm looking for romance."

"THEREEEEE WE GO!!!!! NOW, you're getting it."

"Can we just go to class?"

"Let's go."

Olive and I walk to the first class which is math, and as soon as it starts, the teacher does the most embarrassing thing to a new student.

"Okay kids, so today we have a new student. Her name is Claire. So, introduce yourself to us. Tell us your favorite animal, and your favorite hobby." He says, and the whole class looks at me with disgust.

"My favorite animal's a dog. And I like music."

"Interesting. Do you think you can sing something for the class???" The teacher asks.

"I can't really sing that we-"

"If you don't sing, I'm failing you."

I decide to sing a short song called, I don't want to be here anymore.

I don't wanna be here anymore
It sucks and I'm hungry
Let me go to my friends house or something
Because she has Mario Kart
Can I leave now
I hate all of you
This songs over
Be sure to pay at the door
You walnuts

I sing it in a monotone voice.
"Claire that was wonderful, you get an A plus." The class forgets of my existence and I sit back down.

"Now lets start with something hard. What is two plus two?" He asks the class.

This is going to be a long day.