Survival Training

Prologue

                                                                                Prologue

I never ment to be this way, but somehow life's a cruel bitch with a more cruel pokerface. Some person would tell me to admit myself to an institution, but after you heard my story, you'd probably do what everyone else would do: stand and stare.

First of all, my name's Ashley. I live in a medium appartment in Brooklyn and yeah, it was alright then! I had good friends, I had a good job as a bassist and lead singer for an ascending band called 'Survival Training'... it was alright just the way it was! Then there are my friends. A small group but the greatest were the ones I've known since childhood. Sinan and Abigail. Sin was always like my brother! We've grown up as neighbours, met everyday for playing and then there was Abi who moved to our street. There was no one who could ever mess with us three...

Two years ago, Sin and Abi got married. I felt happy for them but kind of sad for me. You have to know, I always liked Abigail. First as sort of a sister, then as a good friend and later I tought of loving her. The way she flipped her blonde hair back, the way she laughed and the views we both shared. She really drove me insane, but at least, she was Sinan's girl. You know, love even means to let the things go you love. You want your beloved person to be happy, right? It was the same with Abi here. If she had been happy with Sin, it have been to me to accept it.

I promise you, I'll never forget the night on 23rd of March. It was cold outside and rained heavily. I was happy to stay inside and read something with dimmed light, when something knocked at my door. I went to open it and saw Abigail there. Wet from the rain with dark make-up under her eyes. Through the raindrops which fell from her hair, I could see she was crying. "What's wrong?", I've asked directly, softly laying an arm around her, leading her in. I've closed the door and gave her a towel I brought from the bathroom. Abi has told me, it has been Sinan who made her cry. We both have known that Sin had a problem with alcohol, but Abi never told me detailed. I haven't even asked after it, but I could imagine of the things a drunken Sin was able to do...

Abigail've asked me, if she could spend the night at mine and I've allowed her to stay. We were alone, nobody would let sleep the other on the sofa and everything has just happened. As a matter of course. Abi've told me she was so unhappy with Sin as her husband, I've hold her in my arms and the following kiss just have led to something we both couldn't controll anymore. I guessed, we both have known it was totally wrong, Abigail was married and I was just the little best sandbox buddy. Wonderful!

Anyway, after that night with Abi, I never felt so happy and so fucked up ever before. There were also positive and negative things with this love affair between her and me, the worst was to lie to my best friend. I've slept with his wife, no matter if he still loved her or I don't know! But, would you beat and attack somebody you've loved? I wouldn't.

It have gone good a few months long. Abi was with me the night before and we've done whatever lovers do, when they're alone. The following four days have been quiet. No messages or calls from Abi and Sin ignored his ringing phone. He haven't even come to the band's rehearsal, which wasn't very typical for him. "Where is that bastard?!", Mitch, our second guitarist has yelled. "Keep calm, Sin will be here in a few minutes... I guess...", I told him, but nobody really listened to me. "Why do you always have to protect him, Ash?", Liz the drummer has said. "He always comes late, he isn't very polite anyway... I'm not bothered anymore!" I've sighed and stayed calm. Sinan have always been late, but at least, he came to every single rehearsal! "And now? Any ideas, great Father Ashley 'Stay aways from my friends' Schwallier? Will you still seremonize us not to talk bad about your holy Sinan-Asshole?", Liz has asked sarcastic and laughed with Mitch and Kellin, our keyboarder. "Which means we have to be so goddamn holy as fuck when we're in the same room together with Ash?", Kellin has asked and the three have laughed again. I've giggled and listened to the joking crew. "Oh, no! Please not, Kel! C'm on, Mitch, take me fast and dirty!", Liz has laughed. "Right here in public dear?", Mitch has answered and slapped her butt. I've shook my head and told the others to start right now, even without Sinan. Then, 18th of May has been one of the blackest days in my life. I've sat at the table and had breakfast like every morning, when I've seen the post man bringing the mail. I've gone downstairs to check my letters and brought them back upstairs without even looking at them. I've sat down again, after closing the door to my appartment and looked at the letters. Advertising, another one... and a pretty official letter from the local mortician. I've opened it and after reading the first two sentences a whole world has crashed down for me. 'Mister Schwallier, your presence is wished by Mister Sinan Harris at the funeral of Misses Abigail Harris. Misses Harris, who sadly died at 15th of May 2013, ...'

I couldn't believe Abigail was gone. For no reason. I've directly picked up my phone and called Sin. Surprise, he has even answered! "Ash?", he has said, but I haven't cared at the moment. "What happend?", has been the only comprehensible question to me. I've heard Sin sighing. "Calm down...", he has said. I've shook my head, but reminding myself that he couldn't see it it through the phone. "Abi's dead and I have to keep calm? What about you, Sin? What the hell happened?!", I've asked while holding my tears back. I remember, I've just wanted to scream and cry and that everything was like it has been before. But Sinan hasn't anwsered and just told me to come to the funeral in two days. Yeah, I've decided to go there, just to say goodbye to one of my best friends and the girl I've loved so long. The funeral was on the 20th, that was the day when the whole story began...