Survival Training

Chapter 1

                                                                                Chapter 1

"I screamed out, "God, you vulture. Bring her back or take me with her." Make me a promise here tonight, love like a tidal wave. Dreamless in early graves, I never want it to be this way. The chemicals will bring you home again. This is it, when it's done, we can say that, when it's sudden death we fight back. She's mine, you stay away from her. It's not her time. 'Cause, baby, I'm the one who haunts her dreams at night, until she's satisfied." ~Pierce The Veil- A Match Into Water

The funeral bell rang and afield a tawny owl made it's sounds. I had the pleasure to see Abi for one last time before she got burried. I first couldn't even look at her, I couldn't see her this way. I've ever known it'll be Sin's, mine or her time one day, but now? So early? Why? Why would somebody do this to her? Abigail looked like she was sleeping, but I knew she was sleeping for a long period called eternity. I watched Sinan while saying goodbye to is wife. He was like ice: pure coldness, not even sad or any other expression. I didn't even recognize my best friend! I've never seen Sin looking this way and the way he looked at that beautiful corpse which was his wife, made me sick. Her coffin got lower appartus. I stood next to Sinan who watched this with no facial expressions. I could punsh him at that moment for being such an asshole! He didn't have to cry or anything else, but he could maybe show that he was sad about Abigails death.. if he was even sad about it!

Sometimes it's really hard guessing what Sin was feeling in some moments. Of course he laughed and smiled, was angry or depressed sometimes, but in moments like that, you can only guess. You guess something, look at him and you directly think, you were wrong and try guessing again. I had those problems too, but I mostly could handle it. But not then, not on the funeral. Just like I said before, I could beat him for his non-reactions!

I was kind of happy when it was finally over! I walked with Sinan and tried to read what he was like in that moment. He stoped by some graves on the grave yard. "Why are you looking at me like that?", he asked and I turned, slowly walking towards him. "Euuu... like what?", I asked back and Sin smirked lightly. "You know what I mean, Ash... you could punish me for the false emoticons at the moment, right?", he said. I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. I still ask myself how did he know then. Some months from then I realised, how he could have known, but I'll tell you later! "Okay, alright! What do you wanna hear now? That I could cry, maybe?", I reacted and could punsh myself for telling him this way. Sin just looked down at me with that non-expression face again. "Why should you cry? At leat I have a reason to cry my heart out, Ash... let me tell you.", Sinan said, put an arm around my shoulders and led me the first slow steps to the grave yard's gate. "You know, Abi and I were always happy with our marriage..." I nodded. 'Of course you were! Just like she told me!', I thought. "Just some days, befor the accident... she told me, that she was pregnant.. what was a real miracle we couldn't really figure out, how that could happen... but I think, you could imagine, that we both were really surprised but happy, right?" I nodded again. So, Abi has been pregnant... but when Sinan even couldn't explain, how she got... and Abi spent the nights at mine, so long... was he lying to me? Or could it be possible, she has been pregnant with my baby?

I didn't want to think about it any longer! I shut my mind and listened to Sin again. "Well, a few days later, after I came home, I've found Abi on the floor.. she didn't actually moved or something and I prayed she wasn't dead then... I couldn't explain this, but there was blood all over the floor and I called the ambulance..." While he was explaining me how Abi died, I had these pictures of her on my mind: The happy and smiling Abigail, flipping her blonde hair while giggling, and then this picture of her dead beautyful body on the wooden floor. Blood streaming from her head, dying her light hair to a deep and deadly red. I closed my eyes, squinched them, but nothing helped. This aweful picture of dead Abi was burned into my mind!

"Are you okay?", Sinan asked me. His deep low voice pulled me back into reality, that slapped me right into the face. Life's a bitch, I can tell you! "Yeah... go ahead!", I told him. We started walking slowlier than before right to the exit of the grave yard. I mostly liked grave yards when I was younger, the ambience and the silence here, but since that day of Abigail's funeral... it was a place of deep sadness and darkness to me. "Well... I don't know how to move on, you know? It's not just because of Abi, it's the whole situation, Ash... It's like someone ripped my heart into pieces and jumped onto them...", Sin said. The last part sounded to me like a verse from Facebook, which was written by a 13-year old 'My life's so terrible'-drama girl whose teddy cheated on her with another of her stuffend animals. "I still don't believe she's gone...", I mumbled, then turned my head to Sinan. Was he lying to me? My best friend acting like someone else just because he won't tell me the truth? "Did you ever... argued or something?", I asked. Sin stopped and looked at me with this non-expressional face again. "Why?", he asked back. "I asked first...", I said, stopped and turned to him. "Well, did you?" Sinan sighed and we continued walking again. "We had a little clash, but it's months ago and we got along again. So why do you wanna know this?" Some months ago, right? Abi came to me months ago with tears streaming all over her cheeks. Littel clash... tell us another! "I dunno...curiosity!", I answered, hoping he believed me.We stood infront of ours cars, Sinan opened the drivers door of his, when he suddenly turned back to me. "Ashley?", he said. I looked over to him, just to see him smile benignly. "Curosity killed the cat!", he said. I smirked lightly and responded: "But satisfaction brought it back!" I realised that this small smile just turned into something I can't explain again. This non-expressional face you couldn't see through. "See ya, Sin...", I said. He just nodded. I got into my car, pu the key in and started it. I just looked one more time to Sinan, while driving from the parking of the grave yard. The look he gave me could kill, so something has to be wrong. He was hiding something, something he didn't want to tell me and I had to find out.