across the universe. | chensung

wake up | chapter 8

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Reluctantly, Chenle was dragged from the warm and inviting embrace of slumber by the incessant outbursts of the machine beside him. Deciding it was useless to pretend, he opened his eyes and the familiar stark white ceiling swam into view.

Beep. Beep.....

Chenle blinked at the huge Angelo lamp pointed above his bed. His tired eyes wandered from the pale walls, the bleached ceiling, the door. He barely registered the sound of nearing footsteps before falling further back into the mattress. Whoever was outside couldn't be here for him, could they? Deciding that he didn't want to be bothered to talk, he closed his eyes immediately and pretended to be still sleeping. The footsteps came to an eventual halt and the hospital ward door opened silently.

"Chenle, it's time for your medication."

For a fleeting second, he expected it to be someone else, a certain someone that he knew he most likely would never see again with his own eyes. Theoretically speaking. It was most likely, considering his current condition. Forget it, why am I still thinking about this? Chenle opened his eyes once again, the white ceiling and lamp coming into view. It stung his eyes, but he didn't wince. He was used to pain.
By habit, he supported his upper body with his arms and pushed himself into a sitting position. He stuck out his arm and waited for something to come and grab onto it.

Yes, it was all by habit.

Chenle has grown accustomed to the mundane routine of sleeping, waking up, receiving medication, having weekly checks -

And being alone.

He braced himself for the cold smart of the syringe.

Chenle stared at the needle in his arm. A little sliver of steel that disappeared into the soft skin of his inner elbow. He didn't react or flinch at the pain in fact, he liked it. Pain gives him, allows him to feel, and reminds him "You're still alive." .

Nothing could save him from his eternal solitary anymore.

-

It wasn't very big news for Chenle when he found out about his condition.

He knew something would have to happen at this point. Almost expecting it, really - the violent headaches that left him reeling, sudden blackouts, a worrying increase in fainting spells. Things got worse, as time went by and more symptoms showed - he was basically living on the edge.
But still. He couldn't accept his diagnosis. When he saw what was printed on that page, an illness, his illness, in bold black letters, he didn't want to accept it. It felt like reading your death on a piece of paper.

Diagnosed with Stage II brain tumour

Until then, Chenle hadn't realised how important time was.

Every minute wasted was a part of his life gone. If you stood in front of a ticking clock for sixty seconds, a minute - another sixty seconds less to live. You would walk away with a new hole in the time of your existence, a hole the size of a minute.
Memories are like a collection. Parts of the collection are lost over age, to leave space for the new. But Chenle's time had been fast-forwarded, which made him lose faster than he could gain. Days passed by so quickly, so rapidly as if time were pieces of sand caught in his hands, no matter how hard he tried to hold on to them, he ends up losing more and more of it.

Eventually, he had forgotten the name of the road his house was on, which was why Jisung found him on the side of the road. He couldn't remember how to get home, or even worse, where his home was. Everything that passed through his mind seemed like a gust of wind, bringing every single memory away, leaving nothing behind for him to find.

There wasn't much of a choice for Chenle on what to keep. In fact, random and important memories slip away everyday, he stopped worrying about forgetting things. He threw everything to the back of his mind, not bothered to care anymore. What was the point of trying if you know you're gonna forget it?

Surprisingly, the only thing he couldn't, or wouldn't let go, is Jisung. When people asked him about himself, he would shake his head and look as blank as a piece of paper. Instead, he'd start blurting out stories of him with Jisung, eyes bright with the thought of the latter. He looked so happy, so delighted that it seemed like he was healthy - his cheeks bloomed with smiles and eyes creased into half moons, but when he finishes his story, the light in his eyes dimmed and his smile disappeared. It wasn't easy for anyone that looked after him - it wasn't easy for Chenle himself either.

It was until that morning that Chenle realised.

"I'm forgetting your name...who are you?"

-

Sorry for taking so long to update!!! Hope you guys like the new chapter^^

What's gonna happen next? Who knows...