Slowly Healing

Chapter 1.5

~Ava~

"They say time's a healer, how long is this burn supposed to last?"

Jessie Ware 'Hearts' was currently flooding my ears, I couldn't help but relate to this song somewhat. It's been a week since Sebastian left me, and it hurts.

It fucking hurts.

I physically couldn't cry anymore, I had no more tears left. I was just numb, a broken shell of what I used to be. I doubt time will heal this pain, I miss you Sebastian. I haven't slept, eaten, hell even showered.

I probably looked like a mess. But who cares, I'm not dressing to impress anyone. I just wanted him to be here, beside me. Cuddling, as we argued about what we should watch. Even though we didn't really do much watching, getting lost in the love making.

Rolling to my side, I looked at my bedroom wall. There were pictures of us everywhere, some of the four years that we spent together captured in pictures. I moved my gaze to the corner of my room, his black vans still there. Untouched. His hoodie was sprawled on the chair, the hoodie I bought him for his eighteenth birthday.

I got out of bed and walked towards it, picking up his hoodie and inhaling it deeply. It still smelled like him, the musky cologne still lingering on it. I placed the hoodie over my head, covering one of his shirts that I've been wearing. I pulled it down, the hoodie stopping before my knees.

Walking towards the pictures on the wall, I traced my fingers over them. We were so happy, smiling, so in love. I stopped on the picture that our friend captured without us knowing. We were on the beach, and I remember playing tag with him. Teasing that he couldn't catch me, and that he wasn't as fast as me.

Flashback

"You're so slow babe, your physique is just a lie. You can barely run, you potato." I teased him whilst jogging backwards on the sand. Sebastian playfully glared at me, before quickening his pace. My eyes widened, oh shit.

I turned around and ran as fast as I could, who was I kidding challenging him. That boy did track for crying out loud! Determined not to give up, I pushed as fast as my legs could take me. I could hear him coming closer behind me.

Arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up. I let out a squeal and started squirming in his grasp. Sebastian just tightened his grip, making it hard for me to get out.

"Caught you, my love" he whispered in my ear, causing me to shiver inwardly.

He turned me in his arms, so I was facing him. Sebastian had the biggest grin on his face, I couldn't help but return it. This boy had my heart, I was his. He was mine.

"I love you," he said softly, placing his forehead against mine.

"I love you too," I told him. His lips brushed against mine briefly teasing me, before turning towards the water and running.

"Sebastian Leo Matthews, you better not throw me in the water!" I warned him. He looked at me and winked before letting out a chuckle.

*Present*

I could feel myself smiling from the memory, I didn't realise I was crying until I could taste the salty tears. Guess I didn't run out of tears. I put my hands in the hoodie pockets, my hand was met by a paper of some sort. Holding onto it, I pulled it out. It was an envelope with my name on it, the handwriting was familiar. Very familiar.

It was Sebastian's.

Quickly tearing open the envelope, I pulled the letter out. Eager to read it.

My sweet Ava,

I'm so sorry that I can't hold you. I can't imagine the hurt you're going through. But just remember I'm always going to be with you, like your own guardian angel.

I love you so much, always and forever.

p.s. on the 15th of March, go to our special place.

Your love,

Sebastian