Cutting Edge (Frerard)

17

♾Frank's P.O.V♾

Why did i walk away. Why did I fucking walk away. Why did I let him go.

A random fucking man just took him away from me. He isn't okay, something happened. I can feel it.

I tried to call him but got no reply. This made me worry badly.

My anxiety got to the point I was throwing up the non existent food I hadn't eaten in days. I was throwing my guts up.

I am extremely underweight but no one notices because I wear layers of clothes and don't ever remove my clothes.

"I'm going on a walk" I walked out of the house and went in the direction or Gerard's house.

I just kind of stood outside staring at both houses. Eventually I sat against a tree and watched Burt's house, and I will tell you now, that household is fucking hostile.

Everyone was arguing and I occasionally heard smashing. I want Gerard back. He's mine.

I've only felt real emotions when it came to Gerard. He made me feel alive, but most of the time he made me want to kill myself.

I wish he'd just give up with Bert and realize that I'm a better person, I deserve him and Bert doesn't.

I hate jealousy. The only time I felt it was around Gerard or if he was mentioned. If someone was to talk about him, in my head I'd be saying 'my Gerard, are you talking about MY Gerard??'. Of course I wouldn't say that though.

Gerard and I have been friends since we were little. Always close, we've never had a real argument or fallen out completely.

Mikey isn't the biggest fan of me, that's because he's younger and not used to me being around as often as I used to be. I want things to go back to normal.

I was 13 when I started self harming, Gerard never knew, at the time I had a cat and lived with my parents so I blamed it on the cat. Eventually I was adopted, Gerard was scared shitless. He thought I was getting taken away.

The amount of times I've been hospitalised is incredible. The cuts got deeper as the years flew by, my depression obviously got worse.

My main issue was my sexuality which I still don't know the answer to, I think I'm gay but my 'parents' would kill me.

After about an hour of nothing I decided to go home and play some guitar until my fingers started bleeding, this also made me feel alive.