Journal

Seven

Call all the ladies out

They're in their finery

A hundred jewels on throat

A hundred jewels between teeth

Now bring my boys in

Their skin in craters like the moon

The moon we love like a brother, while he glows through the room

~Team (Lorde)

Mom saw my depression getting worse day by day, so she offered to take me out to dinner at any place I wanted.

"I just want to order pizza and read a book," I sat on the couch with His blanket covering my body and His iPod steadily streaming music into my ears. My body felt paralyzed; I didn't want to move anywhere, and it felt like I had lost my capability to.

"Carson! You need to get out! Enjoy the sunshine! You can't just be moping around all day listening to music. It's summer!" She ripped the blanket off of me and threw open the curtains.

"No. It hurts," I mumbled sarcastically. "I'm allergic to the outdoors." I've always been pale due to the combined facts that 1) I can't tan and 2) I really do hate the outdoors.

She sighed and grabbed the phone. "What toppings do you want?"

When the pizza finally arrived, I took a slice of the veggie­ side, ran up to my room, and slammed the door. I searched under my mattress and found the journal that I had been keeping hidden from the rest of the world. I opened to where I left off.

We had to do a partner activity in Language Arts today. Nothing too important, but my dick friends partnered up with each other and left me all alone. I had to be with a guy named Carson.

I'm actually not going to lie here, but I don't really see what's so bad about Carson. Everyone labels him as this weird kid who hates life and everything around him, but I actually thought he was really funny and nice. And his hair. Oh. My. God. His hair.

Jesus, I make him sound like he's a girl I have a crush on!

We basically had to fill out a worksheet about adverbs and usless shit like that, and since he's really good at that grammar stuff, we finished really fast. He told me that he's a vegetarian, that he wants to get his right ear pierced, and that he lives with his mom since his dad left them. He's had depression ever since.

I don't know why, but I just really wanted to give him a hug right then and there, but since we just met, that'd be really awkward.

When I asked him what he wants to be when he grows up, he told me a writer. I told him that it made sense since he's really good at English. He said that he wanted to return the compliment, but he doesn't like to lie. We both started laughing. I told him that I was really into science and wanted to study humans (anthropology, to be exact), and he said that I would be great at that since I win a ton of science fair awards. I said that I would return the compliment, and he finished my sentence with "but you don't like to lie, either." That's when we started laughing so hard that people stared for a really long time, but we didn't care. I had a really good time hanging out with him.

August

A/N

This is going to be my last upload...for a week.

Sorry if I scared you.

I'm going to camp for a week, so I won't be able to update during that time, so that's why I decided to upload this one a little bit early just for Y. O. U.

<3

I really love this camp, and if you want to know more about it, read Three Magnolias. It takes place at a camp that's inspired by the one I'm going to. The main male character is also named Carson, but if you read it, you'll be able to see that this is a totally different Carson.

Like I said before, I just really like the name. Sue me. :P

Sorry for this super long Author's Note and for not being able to update for a while, but please enjoy my other books (and other books that maybe aren't mine) in the meantime.

Love always,

Sososilly

Ps. Smile because I think you're beautiful. :)

<3