Journal

Nine

If you love me let me go

If you love me let me go

'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars

The fear if falling apart

And truth be told I never was your

The fear, the fear of falling apart

~This is Gospel (Panic! At The Disco)

I finally dragged myself out of bed to take a bike ride.

I placed His journal and His iPod in my Marvel bag, and I rode to the neighborhood park.

I sat on one of the swings and studied the area. Kids were on the slides, teenagers were comparing swimsuits and abs by the pool, and the adults either looked intrigued in what their kids were doing or on the verge of putting a gun to their temples. I felt like doing the latter option.

I looked at them all. So happy. So full of life and no cares in the world. But they would all grow up. They'd realize that fairies aren't real, they'd have to carry loads of homework home everyday, and they'd face their inner turmoil by mutilating their bodies. And some might just be another August waiting to happen.

I flipped through song after song until I came across a Panic! At The Disco song. This is Gospel. I pulled out the journal and flipped to the next page.

Know who your real friends are.

When we were about to sit down to eat lunch, I saw Carson all alone at the table, and it really broke my heart. He just had his headphones on and ate his apple like he did everyday. I was just too busy to notice.

"Hey, guys," I said to Charles and Nate. "We should sit with Carson. He's really nice, and he looks really lonely."

"Haven't you heard?" Charles leaned in close and whispered into my ear "He's a fag." He and Nate started laughing like a bunch of fucking hyenas, which really pissed me off.

"Well, 'fag' or not," I made finger quotes, "we should still sit with him. He deserves just as much respect as anyone."

"Hell, no! You go do whatever you want, but Carson's no friend of mine," Nate chimed in.

"Well, I guess you homophobes aren't worth my time, then." I walked away and sat right down next to Carson.

"Hey."

"Oh. Hey." He looked shocked and maybe a little scared when I spoke. After looking around a little bit, he said "Why are you sitting with me?"

"I don't know. I just feel like you're better company than those dickbiscuits over there." I gestured to my "friends".

"I know. I heard. And you really didn't have to do that for me."

"Well, I wanted to."

A/N

So, how's that for unrealistic dialogue between characters?