Journal

Eleven

I could kid myself

In thinking that I'm fine

~Panic! At the Disco (Always)

Ever since I fell asleep and had that dream in the park, I've been questioning everything. What's real? What's not real? Is death real? Is life real? Are our lives just a big hologram, or are we supposed to have some grand purpose? Or is there a purpose?

We're doing a science project together. Carson and I. And I'm really excited.

He walked over to my house after school. "Don't you have a bike?" I asked.

"No. Mom could never get me one for my birthday, and the outdoors are evil," he answered.

"Well, you braced them to come over here." I swear I saw his cheeks flush a little.

We did research (or maybe copied things) online and went up to my room. The first thing he saw was my Spider-Man blanket, and I immediately got embarrassed. "Sorry! I'm sorry. I meant to pick that up."

He laughed and said "It's fine. I have an X-Men bag!" We started fangirling and debating who was the better Avenger: Thor or Captain America. He rooted Captain America. I rooted Thor.

"Shit." He checked his watch. "I gotta go home. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

When he left, I felt really sad but hopeful. I don't know why, and I don't know what that feeling is.

A/N

1) Sorry if the last chapter was confusing; I hope this one cleared things up. Basically, Carson had a dream in the park that featured August, and it made him question things.

2) I'm obsessed with this song (Always by Panic! At The Disco). I'm going to try to include links to all of the songs that I quote.

Thanks for reading! :)