Love me still ? [1D.5SOS] ON HOLD

0.5

I should've really been used to this by now . You know walking in from school on my drunk dad sprawled out on the couch . But now it just bothered me . I opened my bedroom door locking it behind me throwing my stuff on my bed and kicking off my shoes. I changed into some sweatpants and a T- shirt . I walked into my bathroom sitting down on the floor rummaging through the cabinet searching for my blade. I began on my wrist deeper and deeper until I stopped . I watched as the blood trickled down my and wrist . I felt no pain just numbness . I picked up the bottle of peroxide and began to pour it over my wrist . I hated my fucked up life . Everything just started to become one big blur for the next month . School was the same . Same routine different day .

All my weekends consisted of me being locked in my room , practicing my guitar and just pure laziness . I didn't really have anything else better to do . If somebody ever did ask I'd just tell them that I was sick or busy . It was Sunday and my parents had to go to Liverpool for the week due to their jobs . My sister would be at grans house which means I'd have to take care of myself for the week . I was actually happy with this situation because I wouldn't be forced to eat . I started the 8th grade 115 pounds . I was so fat . At that time I never realized how much I'd been eating . As time pasted and I'd entered the ninth grade I overheard some of the other girls calling me fat , awkward , and even emo. Everytime I went home I locked myself away to cry and took out my only friend . I barely eat at all anymore .

I walked into my parents bathroom where they had a scale .I weighed myself and closed my eyes waiting for the numbers to pop up . Tears started to fill my eyes as I stared at the horrible numbers as they faded away . 98 pounds I repeated to myself . I went to the kitchen and opened a can of Arizona Tea . The best beverage on the planet , then again there is cherry coke. Walking into my own bathroom this time I stared at myself in the mirror . My face was puffy and my eyes were red from all my crying .

"Your just a fat , worthless , a stupid little nobody just wasted space !"

The voice became louder and louder . I covered my ears screaming wanting it to stop but it didn't instead it became louder , laughing at me . I started to cry removing my hands . My throat was sore and I began to feel a bit dizzy . I could feel the gross substance beginning to rise in my throat quickly grabbed the nearest waste bin and puked. Not surprised by what just happen I started brushing my teeth . Sometimes this happened a lot but not lately .The taste was discusting .

"Tomorrow's going to be different . " , I thought to myself .
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I set my alarm 30 minutes earlier to when I usually wake up . Today I was determined . I put on my fresh uniform making my way to my bathroom . I washed my face and carefully applied my make up . I didn't apply much but I managed to cover my blemishes . I put on a thin layer of black eyeliner on the top and a light brown on the bottom . Since it was raining I used my waterproof mascara . I brushed my teeth till they were white and then applied a thin layer of lip gloss . I let my hair out of its messy bed head bun and straightened it . I took two pieces from the front and bobby pinned them to the back . With ten minutes to spare I grabbed my Babylips from my drawer and slipped on my heart shaped locket and my bracelets and then my coat.
I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. When I got there it was still early so I stopped at the little coffee shop across from school. I got my coffee and parked in the school parking lot . I put both hands around the warm cup heating up my hands as I drank it. The smell of pumpkin spice filled my car as I relaxed in my seat watching the rain .Through the blurry window I noticed somebody running coming closer and closer to my car. I turned on the window wipers waving at him to get in finally realizing who it was. He quickly got in slamming the door .

"Thanks.", he mumbled .

"No problem . Did you walk to school? Like in the rain?"

"I had an umbrella but it kinda broke." , he said chuckling running a hand through his damp hair. We talked for a while finding little things we had in common .

"You know Cole it's nice talking to you."

"You too . Uh are you-"

I heard the first bell ring as students quickly exited the buses and more cars started pulling up . I hadn't even noticed how long we had been talking .

"We should probably get inside.", he said looking down at his hands."

"Yeah ." , I finally said . We grabbed our things as he took my hand dragging me along with him laughing in the rain until we made it inside.

"Your hair is soaked ." , I said giggling pointing to his hair .

"You don't look to good either ." , He said wiping the running mascara off my face .

I squeal as his cold hands touch my face .

"Haha thanks... So much for water proof huh?" . He laughed shaking his head before walking in the opposite direction leaving me standing there in the middle of the hallway all by myself ...

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What do you guys think about Kaite and Cole ;)