Don't Worry, I Love You And I'm Always Here To Help (boyxboy)

Chapter 12

Shane's P.O.V.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid that to say that we don't think that he will make it. He cut too deep."

"No." I whispered. Then shouted,"No. No. No. He has to be alright. Please. Please keep him alive. I need him. I need him!" "Shane, calm down. We'll try our best. You can go in to see him. He is still unconscious though." "Okay" She lead me to Andy's room and I sat down beside him on the bed. His heartbeat beeping on the monitor. "Andy. Don't go. I need you. Please. If you can hear me, please stay strong. You can fight this. Don't let death win. I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you. You saved me, now I'll save you. You've probably been fighting so long but I didn't know. But I do know that you still have that little bit of strength left to fight on just a little bit more. Please, Don't go. I can't do this on my own. If you go, I'm going after you." I kissed him lightly on the forehead and stood up, looked at him for what might be the last time, and left. The nurse followed and shut he door after us. "We'll contact you soon to let you know how he's doing." said the nurse. "Okay." I replied.

On the way home a lot of people on the bus were staring at me because I was crying so much. A few people tried to comfort me but nothing helped. I knew that I could be losing my one and only love because I fucked up. I feel so guilty.

Eventually, I arrived at my destination and walked into my house and my dad slapped me so hard across the face I fell right onto the ground. "It's been way more than 36 hours, fag!" He shouted at me. "Where were you?!" "I-I-My friend ended up in hospital." I answered. "So you decided to disobey me and visit him there?" "No. I had to bring him." "Hmm... I'll let you off this once. Now scamper off to your room. I don't want to see your face for a long time." I didn't reply, I just did as he said.

I sat up in my room and thought. I thought; Why is my dad suddenly acting much nicer? Will Andy live? What if he doesn't?. Stuff like that. I unpacked my bag and forgot that I had my cigarettes. I took on out of the packet and lit it. I know I shouldn't be smoking in my room but I couldn't give a fuck. As I inhaled, I relaxed a little. As I exhaled, it was even better. I hadn't smoked in a while and with all the stress going on at the moment it really helped. After the cigarette, I was stupid enough to sneak downstairs and grab a beer. I managed to make it back to my room alive and sat back down on my bed and opened the beer can. I had it all drunk in less than 5 minutes and regretted not bringing up more. I was the tiniest bit drunk, but still more sober. Although I had enough to actually go back down to get more. Apparently I'm just getting lucky now because I made it back up with 4 more cans. I drank them all and the last thing I remember is my phone.

I woke up on my bathroom floor with a pounding headache and nausea. I looked around and saw my phone on the floor beside me. I picked it up and unlocked the screen. 19 unread messages it read. "Fuck. What happened last night?" I looked at the messages. Apparently I was texting one of the jocks from school. "Oh fuck. They're going to kill me." I sat up and used the toilet for support while I got up. Just as I got up my phone buzzed. I picked it up again and it was a call. I answered. It was the hospital. They wanted me to come over straight away.

"Dad, I'm going out." I announced. No answer. I picked up and envelope that was on the table beside the door and wrote a message on it saying;

Dad,
     I'm gone out to visit friends. I'll be back later, hopefully.

                                                                                                  - Shane

I arrived at the hospital and the nurse came over to me and told me the news. "We're so sorry for your loss, Shane. But Andy's heartbeat has stopped. We've tried all we can but there's nothing else we can do. If you'd like, you can go in and talk to him." I tried not to cry. "Okay" was all I managed to say. She brought me into Andy's room and I sat down beside him and talked to him. The room was silent except for my breathing. I would do anything to hear Andy breathe one more time. "Andy, I hope that you're okay now. You're in a better place where you're free to live. You were still so young. You had your entire life ahead of you. And I ruined it. I did this to you. I'm so sorry, Andy." I broke down crying. "It's going to be okay. We're going to see each other soon. I promise. I hope that you're happy where you are now." I couldn't say anymore. It just couldn't come out, I was crying too hard. I stood up kissed him and rubbed his cheek. I can't believe he's gone. I left the room, still crying and went home.

At home, I went to my room and took my knife. I pulled back all my wristbands, exposing my wrist and held the knife closer.