My Lies

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i'm really tired of this.

of arguing.

of feeling this way.

sometimes i feel okay,

i really do.

in fact i am okay,

most of the time.

but there's just some things...

some things that you've said.

the times when you didn't fight for me.

when you've ignored me.

confused me.

left me alone when i didn't want to be.

i can't forgive them.

i can't forgive you.

yet i can't forget you.

sometimes,

i like to be sad,

and it's not as bad as it was before,

but i like to think about sadness.

i like to think,

yet i dislike the thoughts.

i think about how people lie.

sometimes i tell you.

most times i don't.

right now, i'm missing you.

and that's okay.

because you don't miss me.

and i don't want you to.

i want you to fight for me,

the way i have fought for you.

so prepare your shield,

wield your sword,

and draw back your bow

as your arrow is slid into place.

just don't aim it at me.

because god knows it'll kill me if you do.