From the Beginning

Chapter 6

Leah's POV

I've never had awkward silence with Kevin. Even when we run out of things to talk about, silence was always comfortable because we knew we didn't need to say anything.

They say there's a first time for everything as the silence in the car on the way back from the mall was so thick it probably would've been easier to cut through diamond at that point.

I kept squirming uncomfortably in my seat, glancing over at Kevin every once in a while to see his face as stoic as an Easter Island head, his hands gripped tightly around the wheel as he avoided eye contact with me at all costs. I looked back out the window, a feeling of dread settling in the pit of my stomach as I worried that this was going to ruin our friendship. I was having so much trouble understanding how this happened, more importantly how I didn't notice it. I noticed he'd been more liberal with his affections, but it never occurred to me that that could mean he had feelings for me.

I felt so incredibly guilty in that moment, my mind racing about what I could say to try and ease some of the tension that I'm sure we were both feeling in that moment, but I just couldn't think of anything. There wasn't a joke I could make, any sarcastic comment I could give to ease the strain. Everything in that moment just felt... uncomfortable.

He pulled up outside of my house a few minutes later, but neither of us made a move to say anything or go anywhere. I looked over at him, and the sad look I saw on his face as he stared out the window broke my heart.

"I'm so sorry, Kevin," I whispered, knowing that those words weren't going to make anything better since I'd already said them multiple times. He shrugged, a sad smile on his lips as he refused to make eye contact with me.

"It's alright, I guess it's my own fault. I should have just asked you out on a date first instead of making an ultimate declaration of love, would've saved me a lot of embarrassment," he said, chuckling quietly and shaking his head.

I smiled weakly, reaching over to place my hand on his arm gently. "Listen, I don't want this to change anything between us, so how about we just move on and stay friends? Forget that this ever happened? I think it would be better that way."

He looked up at me, staying silent for a minute before finally nodding with a slightly depressed look on his face. "I'm going to go, but I'll see you at school on Monday," I said, setting my hand on the door handle, wanting to get out of this car as soon as possible. "Bye Kevin." I opened the door and climbed out, reaching back in to grab my purse.

"Bye Leah," I heard Kevin say as I closed my door. I waved back at him, watching as he backed out of the driveway and drove down the street towards his house. I sighed and started towards the door, pulling out my keys, unlocking the door and making my way inside. I threw my keys on the table in the front hall as walked towards the living room, seeing my parents sitting on the couch together. My mom was reading a book and my dad was watching some golf tournament on TV, his arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders.

They looked up as they saw me walking past. "Hey honey, did you have a good time with Kevin," my mom asked, placing her bookmark in her book and closing it so she could focus her attention on me.

I smiled tightly and nodded. "Always do. I'm going to head upstairs and relax for the rest of the day," I said, turning to head upstairs without waiting for their response. I really just needed to lay down and not think about what went on earlier.

I walked up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind me and leaning back against it. I sighed heavily and rubbed my eyes, deciding that I needed to find something to distract myself with.

A couple of hours later, I was busy sobbing like a child as I watched Patch Adams when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in," I said, grabbing a tissue and wiping my eyes quickly to make myself look somewhat presentable. My mom walked in, shutting the door before walking over to sit next to me on the bed. She didn't say anything for a few minutes, just sat and watched the movie with me, and when she did speak my heart almost leapt out of my chest.