To Hell and Back for You

Chapter 33: New Beginnings

Apparently, Devin wasn't as bothered as I feared. Stunned for a minute, perhaps, but it appeared that more than anything, his mind had begun reeling with possibilities of what had happened to them. After wondering if I had banished them to Hell, to which I had replied my ignorance, he considered the terms of my nourishment.

"Do you feel any different?"

"What do you mean?" I tapped the side of the bowl of chili in front of him to gesture that he should eat more.

He had gone ahead and finished preparing the simple meal we had been interrupted from, disappointed that I didn't want any food myself. I had explained to him that I hadn't felt any sort of hunger since I died, even now that I was back in the human world.

On the other hand, I had noticed earlier that he had lost weight. His muscles had toned down and his face was less round than I remembered. The thought of him not taking care of himself upset me. Knowing that it was my fault physically pained me.

"I mean," he tried to ignore my prompt and continue so I raised an eyebrow, shifting my vision angrily to his bowl and back up. He rolled his eyes, but quickly swallowed a bite before finishing, "When you killed Emma and Damian, did you feel any stronger afterward?"

I cocked my head, catching his drift, "You're wondering if perhaps that was me feeding? To be honest, I actually feel pretty tired. Whatever I did, it was draining."

Devin's expression grew instantly concerned, "Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

"No," I smiled, "Just tired. I would assume it's just me recouping from the sudden change in environment. I know we just got up, but do you think we could lay down for a while longer once you're done eating?"

"Of course," his demeanor didn't change as he rose from his seat, "We should make a plan before trying any tests on you anyway. You know, to figure out your dietary needs and all," the man had walked over to where I sat and placed a hand on my arm, urging me to get up.

"I said we can after you've finished your food," I reminded.

"Oh, I'll do that later," he shrugged, clearly too focused on taking care of me.

I twisted the arm he was pulling at and grabbed his with it, forcing him to fall into my lap, "Finish eating, Devin," I repeated sternly.

His lips lifted into a smirk and he reached over to get his chili, "You've gotten more dominant."

My eyes softened. I hadn't considered how some of the changes I had gone through affected his outlook of me, "I'm sorry..."

"No! I mean, I wasn't complaining," his lips curled more as he took a spoonful into his mouth.

I relaxed somewhat, "Am I not the same as I was?"

There was a pause.

"No, you're not," he admitted gently, stirring his food before looking up at me, "But you're still you. You're still the man I love. You're just... You know what you want now and you go for it instead of denying yourself so much."

I considered those words; I guess they were true, "You know you've changed a little too. You don't act like you have to be strong all the time. I'm glad I can finally be strong for you."

The man blushed, shoving another mouthful of chili down. The two of us sat in silence as he emptied the bowl and once complete, tilted it to show me. Rewarding him with a quick kiss, I finally allowed us to return to the bedroom. Despite feeling as though I could easily take a nap, I fought to stay awake through drooping lids.

Devin would undoubtedly tell me to sleep, but I knew he was worried I would disappear and admittedly, I couldn't assure him that I wouldn't. Neither of us spoke on the matter, we simply talked about other things. Nevertheless, my will failed me and fatigue overcame my body.