To Hell and Back for You

Chapter 6: Calm Down

At first, I sped away without any destination in mind, my only desire was to get far out of danger's reach. However, just as with waking from a bout of sleep paralysis, the initial shock wore off quickly and I was returned to a normal state. Well, other than the fact I remained a bit thrown off to have seen the creature whilst conscious, which had to be something do with Ames.

Trying to blame what I had witnessed on lack of sleep or a bad hit or whatever else was futile and there was no other logical explanation. Running to the doctor here wouldn't help either. During my days in rehab and therapy, I had questioned having some sort of psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia.

It seemed plausible to me that everything would have felt as real as it had if I was hallucinating. Nevertheless, I was assured that delusion needn't be a product of psychosis and that in my case, any confused behavior was thanks to my history of substance abuse. All of this made sense after sobriety resulted in a loss of fantastic events.

But I wasn't using, I wasn't experiencing increased stress levels, and schizophrenia wasn't something I was going to suddenly develop. The only rational conclusion was that I had been wrong in doubting any supernatural occurrences altogether. True, I may have been overreaching as to the extent of what happened to me in the past; delusions of grandeur or wishful thinking amidst my life in the gutter. Regardless, these things were real to some degree.

Slowing the car and pulling off the side of the barren street, I began feeling guilty for running away. What if Ames was in trouble? She clearly hadn't caught on that the shadow person had jumped from its cage. Speaking of which...had that been my fault?

I had thought she had accidentally loosened her hold on it or whatever. She didn't really elaborate on the actual trapping part. But what if I had been the one to do it? Wouldn't be my first time screwing up where spirits were concerned.

A morose grin found my lips. Despite it all, I had always fervently believed that it was my introduction of Tyler to these matters that had led to his undoing. Part of me had never doubted that I had allowed him to lose his soul, his body dying because of its detachment. I guess that same part of me had also been scared to consider returning to said practices.

This revelation brought with it a new sense of despair: what if I had left his soul in torment, some sort of limbo, because I had abandoned my beliefs and not ever gone after him? My stomach fell and my heart began pounding. It was the familiar start of an anxiety attack. Hands leaping for the glove department, I found the pack of cigarettes therein.

I had been trying to switch to vaping, but unfortunately my brain couldn't seem to give up the taste of smoke or the comforting smell of tobacco burning. I quickly lit up and started taking heavy drags until the paper between my fingers was too short to hold, then I started a new one.

Three cancer sticks and a hundred silent repetitions of 'everything is alright' later, I felt the panic easing and finally did away with the habit for the time being. Lifting my gaze to my surroundings, I realized that I had somehow managed to find a graveyard. Surprisingly enough, it appeared more alive than the rest of the town; almost like a park.

Green trees lined the distance with healthy grass from there to the lane where I was parked. Ames had mentioned her father's funeral so surely this was where he had been buried. I knew that a lot of old towns actually had numerous cemeteries, mostly due to being historic markers from the civil war or other similar eras.

However, it didn't appear that Daytonsville was one such place; neither did it seem to have ever been populated enough to warrant more than one or two burial sites. Eyes trained on rows of white and grey markers, I carefully popped the door open and slipped out.