Divergent (If they never passed initiation)

Chapter 16

This isn't living, this is surviving. My rations of food and toiletries are beyond scarce, and my clothing wreaks of the long hot days in the sun that I have endured.

Callouses line both my feet and hands, I am covered in various cuts and bruises, my joints feel as though someone has lit them on fire.

It has been six days, initiation will end tomorrow. I always imagined my self, happy and cheerful as I am presented the honor of being a full citizen of my faction. I will never know this joy though, I will never experience the ceremony or congratulations, or even a proud look on my parents faces as I become a part of the community.

"Need another break?" Tobias has been so kind, yet he still feels like a stranger to me. He is brave, handsome, selfless, and smart. I don't know what he sees in me. What I do know is that if I am to survive right now, I need him.

We rest under a tree, apples hang low on a few branches. The morning sun shines gold through the delicate leaves.

"So..." Tobias begins.

"So..." I repeat.

"We never really had a chance to talk about, us. I mean, is there an us?" Ever since our 'date' things have been very awkward between us, I told him that I love him, yet I barely know him.

I hesitate, is there an us? Do I want an us right now? Everything that I have come to know and love was ripped away from me only a week ago, I was told that I was Tris, that I was factionless, do I really have enough energy left for an us?

I respond with the only answer I can come up with. "I don't know."

Tobias's eyes flicker with that masked sadness. "I love you too." He whispers.

I inhale a shaky breath, maybe there could be an us. Maybe sharing the burden of all my mixed emotions and thoughts with someone that I trust will be a good thing.

We sit in silence.

"I see." Tobias whispers once more. "We should keep going, if we want to find breakfast."

He stands up and begins to walk.

"Wait." My voice sounds strong, sure, nothing like what is going on inside me.

Tobias stands there, waiting for me to continue. What do I want to say? Should I tell him that I really do love him, that I want him more then anything? Or should I be the humble Abnegation girl that I was brought up to be.

"I need help getting up." Disappointment settles on Tobias's face as he grabs my hands to pull me to my feet.

In silence once more, we continue our walk. I try to ignore the cold absent feeling left on my hands.

Tobias doesn't dare say a single word about us the whole way.

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New 'rule', I won't update until I get at least 15 votes on this chapter. Thank you all for reading, please comment and vote. 😊