Never Truly Happy

Chapter 4

It was not until later that day, after I had finished suffering school, did I realize something important. I had forgotten about my shift last night! I guess with all the guilt of dismissing Dexter I had forgotten.

This was really terrible, though. The workers at the diner barely accepted me and my manager was just looking for an excuse to fire me. I hated that job and my manager, a dirty, seedy man, but I needed that job so I could move out in a couple of years. No one else wanted to hire me because of my history.

I couldn't afford to lose this job.

I ran to the diner in order to talk to my manager before my shift started. Out of breath, I burst into his office.

"I see you're here early today. What a surprise, seeing as you didn't even show up last night!" he spat at me.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," I said in a small voice, staring at the ground shamefully.

"We had a busy night last night, and there was no one here to wash the dishes and take out the trash! The food was ready, but the customers were waiting for the plates! I had to pay Serena extra to wash the dishes!" he shouted.

Serena was a waitress here and sometimes I heard suspicious noises in his office with a disheveled looking Serena to come out in a few minutes. To sum it up, she was a big slut, even at school, and Mr. Ray (the manager) payed her extra for them to get it on. We all knew Serena would do anything willingly for money. It was sick and she was disgusting.

"I should fire you, you slack-off whore!" he sneered.

I looked up at him horrified. "No! Please, don't. I need this job!"

"So? Plenty of people need this job, and some of them aren't lazy mother f*ckers like you!"

"Please," I begged. "I'll do anything!" I almost got on my knees and begged, but I still had a shred of dignity.

He looked me up and down shamelessly. Suddenly, there was a glint in his eye. Was that... lust? " Well," he said taking on a sly smile. "You are quite a beauty... Get down on your knees in front of me!" he commanded. I had a feeling he was going to do something dirty. Bile rose in my throat, but I swallowed it down. I did say I would do anything for this job.

Shredding me of all my dignity, I got down on my knees in front of his swivel chair.

He smiled evilly. "I'm not going to risk the law by doing it with a minor, but you can still help me" He unzipped his slacks. "Do it and I'll let you keep the job."

I closed my eyes and forced the bile back down my throat. I hadn't done this since they forced me that night. Remember, I told myself, I need this job. With my eyes still closed, I bent my head down.

A little while later, I picked my head up and spat into the garbage. Feeling disgusted with myself, I struggled to sit in the chair in front of his desk. I shivered and covered my mouth. I almost threw up.

"That was good, better than Serena's," He said in a disgusting way. "We should do that again sometime." He pulled up his pants and zipped up the fly.

"No!" I said, horrified that he wanted to do that again.

"We will do that everyday until you quit this job," he hissed menacingly. "Now go take out the trash and wash the dishes, b*tch! And remember, I didn't force you, you wanted it!"

I got up and raced out of his office, eager to leave behind the pedophile. On my way to the kitchen, I stopped in the bathroom and threw up all my insides. I was a sick person. Obviously I needed to start looking for another job. I didn't want to give him that everyday. I leaned my head against the cold mirror.

"Are you okay?" someone from behind me asked. I turned around. Serena?

"What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"I was using the bathroom and I came out and saw you," she said in a "duh" tone. Oh. I blushed a little.

"Anyway, are you okay?" she asked again.

"No. I don't think I'll ever be okay." I muttered.

She smiled a little. "I know what you mean. Life can be hard, but sometimes, you just have to tough it out."

"And how would you know?" i raised an eyebrow at her.

"Because, all my life I've been judged by something I had to do. But now, life's finally working out for me. I stopped sleeping around for money, if you haven't noticed." I hadn't noticed. She just smiled sadly at me and stepped out of the washroom.

I wondered what could have possibly happened to her for her to have to do such hideous things. But I felt guilty that I hadn't given her the benefit of the doubt. After all, on many levels, this meant she and I could connect.