DenNor: Purpose [BxB]

Chapter 9

[Matthias]

Usually, damaged people react unexpectedly when faced with a hardship someone else is enduring, that is similar to their own.

Some choose silence.
Some get torn into shreds by empathy.
Some entirely shut down.
Some reach out to the person.

I surely did not expect Lukas to run away, though.
I know vaguely about the fact that he lost his mother a long time ago, but apparently I did not know about how grief grips on you and crushes you, even after so much time.

I stand still where I am, uncapable of calling out to him, even of moving, for what feels like ages.

Then, I manage to turn my head to look at my friends. They're still in tears, holding onto each other as if they were afraid that they are going to shatter like glass if they let go, but some of them are looking at me.

Their eyes are, yes, full of grief, but there is also something else, that tells me: Go. Don't let him run away.

And so I do.

Even walking feels like an inhuman task, but I go after Lukas nonetheless. I do not want him to do anything dangerous or that he could regret. That feeling gives me just enough energy to run a little.

But it is not enough.

When I reach his block of flats, he's already on the rooftop.

[Lukas]

Everything feels so burdening.

Why am I shaking? Why do I feel like I am missing out on something? Why couldn't I help any of them?

I need a quiet place to think, and the only one I can think of is the rooftop. That one rooftop I was thinking about jumping from not even a year ago.

But now, things have changed.

I sure have made a huge mess with my own behaviour, but I also found some people I want to cerish, other than my siblings. I may have also found someone to love. But that is still a doubt.

After a frenetic run up seven floors, I finally get to my quiet place and sit down.

What can I do...

A high-pitched voice interrupts my thinking almost instantly.

«Don't you do that!»

Well.
At this point, I should have seen this coming.

«Go back to the others, Matthias, please, they-»

He cuts me off:

«No no no no! Hold up! I-I'm on my way, okay? Just don't-»

It is my turn to cut him off:

«Listen to me, please. Just go back to the others, they need your help more than I-»

Annnd here he goes.
He's too busy jumping over the gate to listen to me.
And there he goes again, the fool, face down on the little path that connects the building to the street.
I feel a little pity for him.

«Maybe it's easier if I come down?», I ask.

He just yells in response: «No, wait for me! I've got this!»

I highly doubt that.

In less than I thought it'd take him, I hear the door to the stairs bursting open, and there he is.
He is an utter mess, with scratches all over his face, panting harshly, and his hair dishelved.
All I can do is sigh and gesture him to come closer.