Quirkily Hilarious Quotes

Text Ex's

I decided to do a collection of text message quotes including breakups that I find particularly amusing, so here they are!

Ex: Hey

Guy: Why are you talking to me... we broke up?

Ex: Because I wrote you a song, wanna hear it?

Guy: Sure.!

Ex: Enie meni myni mo caught you cheating with that hoe, tried to lie right to my face, think again you've been replaced.

Guy: -_-

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Cheating ex- boyfriend: Are you still mad at me?

Me: Twinkle, twinkle little star

C E-B:How I wonder what you are?

Me: Wish I could hit you with my car

C E-B: OK, you're still mad

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Ex: Good morning beautiful:)

Girl: Excuse me? Check who you're texting

Ex: I'm texting the most gorgeous girl in the world. Look, I'm really sorry about the breakup. I've x:come to realise that you grew to be a part of me for the 1.5 years we dated. Take me back? I can't live without you anymore.

Girl: ...We dated for 4 weeks and you broke up with me yesterday. Wrong ex, grasshole.

Ex: Shoot...

A/N Had to change some swear words from that... credit to The Bad Boy Stole My Bra for the whole grasshole thing :P

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Boy: What happened to your face?

Girl: That was make up!

Girl: What's your excuse?

Girl: Nice

Boy: Did you just 'nice' your own joke?!

Girl: Yah. You would to, if you could do jokes.

Girl: Nice

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Girl: I have a song for you. It's called Want U Back by Cher Lloyd. :3

Boy: Aw, I have a song for you too:)

Girl: What's it called? :D

Boy: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift...

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Boy: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Girl: Aweeeeeee ye!

Boy: Good, then stay 9, 955, 887.6 miles away from me!

Girl: D**k -_-

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Ex- Boyfriend: Hey;)

Me: What do you want? You broke up with me 8 weeks ago, I'm done! Unless you want to do some..... things;)

Ex-Bf: Ooooh, what kind of things? ;)

Me: Ilegal things... ;)

Ex-Bf: What do you wanna do exactly?

Me: Introduce you to my knife and find a deserted railway track with you

Well, that escalated quickly...

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Erik: I just got 2 grams for $40

Erik: Oops, ignore that text, not for you.

Mom: 2 grams of whhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttt?!

Mom: You're freaking me out!

Mom: Erik, what the hell?!

Mom: You're giving me a heart attack, seriously!

Mom: What do you mean? Now you're doing cocaine? Ganja? What?????

Mom: God help me. And you.

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Boy: I miss you. I was wrong.

Girl: This is an auto-response. The girl you're trying to reach spent 3 months after your break up to recieve this text, followed by 3 more months accepting that it would never come. The 6 months after were spent dating other guys to get over you. It worked. Your text is a year late, and she blocked you. Have a nice life.

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Ex- Bf: Well we can still be friends:)

Girl: Promise?

Ex- Bf: PINKY (:

Girl: Okay :) Can I ask you for a favour?

Ex- Bf: Anything (:

Girl: Go shove that pinky promise up your grass. You broke my heart grasshole.

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Gotta love these!!!!!