Lost In Thought

Perfect Wallflower

Lizbeth

He seemed to think keeping us busy would help me get better. I had no idea what was even wrong with me, and he was trying to make me talk to him. Truly, I wanted to, but I just... It had taken me this long to stop crying all the time, over the fact that I murdered my husband.

"John and Isabella Smith, Health and Safety." He smiled as we went in through the service corridors of the building, my short red hair tucked behind my ears. "Wrong way, Bella."

So I turned and followed him, going up to a projection room to see a woman giving a presentation to an audience of several dozen. "Adipose Industries, the twenty first century way to lose weight. No exercise, no diet, no pain. Just lifelong freedom from fat. The Holy Grail of the modern age. And here it is. You just take one capsule. One capsule, once a day for three weeks, and the fat, as they say."

And the film took over for her. "The fat just walks away."

"Excuse me, Miss Foster. If I could?" A woman stood up to get her attention. Arrogant, self important and would do anything for a story. Observer, science, and something told me there would be more of her later. "I'm Penny Carter, science correspondent for The Observer." Called it. "There are a thousand diet pills on the market, a thousand con men stealing people's money. How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account?"

"Oh, Penny, if cynicism burnt up calories, we'd all be as thin as rakes. But if you want the science, I can oblige."

The narrator again, as I closed my eyes, just listening. Listening, I was always listening. "Adipose Industries. The Adipose capsule is composed of a synthesised mobilising lipase, bound to a large protein molecule. The mobilising lipase breaks up the triglycerides stored in the adipose cells, which then enter-" The Doctor told us we were health and safety again, this time for the film department behind me.

"'One hundred percent legal, one hundred percent effective."

"But, can I just ask, how many people have taken the pills to date?"

The presenting lady was guarded, I couldn't get much from her, but I could tell she was smug, ridiculously good at her job, no matter the cost, and was confident that she would always get away with it. "We've already got one million customers within the Greater London area alone, but from next week, we start rolling out nationwide. The future starts here. And Britain will be thin."'

He then took me to a call centre where I had to keep my eyes open, but my ears were aching utterly crushed by the noise of everyone in the room and on the other end of the phones. Anything that connected me to more people made it worse, phones, internet connections, if they were strong enough, and just someone reaching for me. It hurt, if I let it, but pain wasn't always a bad thing. It reminded you you were alive.

"John and Isabella Smith, Health and Safety. Don't mind us."

I subtly pulled a golden pendant away from her without hands for him, not even looking at him as I heard someone else. Not a normal mind, insecure, bossy, no self worth, but she was brilliant. Her thoughts shone somehow. I wanted to find her, but my brother was the other side of me, stopping me.

"That's the printer there?"

"'By the plant, yeah."

"Brilliant." And he pulled his head down again as I reached out, messing with little things, making the office organised. Things had to be organised or they were too loud, they didn't make sense. "'Has it got paper?"

Clare nodded, clearly checking out his behind. Happy, flirty, just got out of a long term relationship and wanted a rebound. Definitely not my brothers type. "Yeah, Jimbo keeps it stocked."