Clinically Insane

0.4

I woke up to a dark room on an uncomfortable bed, I pick up my phone to check the time 3:34am, I groan, standing up I walk to my small set of drawers allocated, take out my shower bag, a towel and a pair of black jeans and a purple vest top with a thrill over my boobs slong with my leather jacket, it may be cold, I also take out fresh underwear and my black converse. I make my way to the bathroom to shower and freshen up, I dont find it weird that im up having a shower at this time, i would wake up at this time on a regular basis at home, getting in the small 4x4 room i remove the top i slept in, then removing the underwear, i hadnt slept in pants, ever, i didnt remember falling asleep, or taking off my pants anyways, i shake my head, oh well who cares, i get in the shower expecting it work horribly, i wash my hair then my body, i stare at the razor blade i brought, i breath out, and push the thoughts out my head, they surround me like a blackhole,' Hurt yourself, do it, feel that pain again, look at that crimson line, you think its beautiful don't you? you're sick, release it, your demons as you call them, pathetic. do it, just do it, Hurt yourself, do it, feel that pain again, look at that crimson line, you think its beautiful don't you? you're sick, release it, your demons as you call them, pathetic. do it, just do it', I squeeze my eyes closed, No. I refuse, i hold back a scream and shave all areas needed, I get out 10 minutes later, ensuring ive rinsed everything off, i grab my towel and dry everything off, changing into my clothes i check the time 4:12am, i walk the small bit to my room and return my shower stuff and brush my hair sightly, wincing when i hit a knot, i leave my room at 20 past 4 and walk to the chill out room, "oh my god you scared me to death!" i exclaim when i see Damo sitting watching tv, he turns to me,"Oh hiya" he said monotone, he seemed sad, i walk closer to him, his eyes no longer bloodshot, hes actually kinda cute in an emo-y aisian-y way, "Why are you up so early?" he asks questionly, "i should as you the same" i reply with my eyebrow raised before sitting next to him, facing him cross legged, "Touche" He chuckled, "I have insomina, i only sleep when im high really, and i get perscribed more tonight, So i should sleep for an hour or two,basically i get into bed at 11, sleep till 2 then sit and play games or watch films, The weed, is so strong, they give me everything to roll a joint, its amazing, sitting in my room getting high is what i do, everyday, when i run out of weed, i just say and they give me it, i can have normal smokes too, speaking of which, do you want one? we can sit in my room, you wont get in trouble?" He says, i found his voice awesome, id never smoked before, so i thought well hell, why not? I nod."Come on then!" he says while raising, he sticks his hand out and i take it, it feels weird holding his hand, i'd never had physical touch since i was 6, it felt warm.

Once we got to his room we sat on the huge windowsill, leaning on each end and had the huge window open, He pressed a button and a stereo started playing 'Stay High by Tove Love' i found it completly ironic, as did he, he just chuckled his deep chuckle along with me while turning it up. He gave me a cigarette, i sat awkwardly whle he lit his, i was unsure of what to do, i watched what he did, so i lit mine and copied, i inhaled the smoke then some air, and coughed it all out. I flushed bright red, "don't be embarressed sweetheart!, Try again!" I did as he said and didnt cough this time as i blew it out, i felt a little better, a small knock came at the door and i panicked, looking at Damo with wide eyes, another two knocks came before it opened, it was Nate. "Holy shit Skar what are you doing in here with this pothead!?" he ended with a laugh while slapping Damo on the back of his head, "Well erm" i raise the cig, his eyes darted between my face and the thing between my fingers, before he settled on my face with a smirk, i wriggle, uncomfortable under his stare, i take another drag."Yup, just what i thought, It makes you even hotter" I blushed even more, "Yo Dam, hand me a smoke" Damo gave him one, while Nate was lighting it, i took the liberty to check him out, he was wearing black skinny jeans, with black vans, a white v-neck and a leather jacket, looking at his face with his cigarette hanging out his mouth, he looked totally hot in a bad boy kinda way. Both boys burst out laughing, "Well thanks baby girl, no need to point it out though" he ended with a wink, i sigh, "please tell me i didnt say that out loud" "Oh baby doll you did, now would you please repeat it so i can put it as my ringtone?"