My Hope 「J.Hoseok」

{My Life}

Every single day is a deja vu for me.
I do and repeat everything every single day.
I wake up, take a bath, eat breakfast, go to school, and so on.

It was like my schedule everyday and it never changes.

I never go out. I never go to the mall with friends just like every 16 year olds like me. I never experienced the warmth of the sand when you go to the beach. I never once smile when something I enjoy is with me. I never do such things.

Let's take a look at my daily schedule shall we...
- - - -

The sunlight from my window touched my face causing me to wake up.

"Dear wake up now it's a school day" My grandma told me.

I rose from my bed and stretched my whole body.
I looked around and thought...
"Another day of this life"

I got up and washed my face. I took a shower rinsing all of the little particles in my body.

I sat down at our dining table with my school clothes on waiting for my grandparents to bring the food.

"Here you go dear. Oh look how beautiful you are" My grandma said like she always do.

I ate 1/3 of my food.

"Child you need to eat more or you'll never have a happy mood for the day" My grandpa told me.

"It's okay grandpa. I'll be going now" I walked out of the house and started to walk to school.

As I walked down I stopped at a dark and lonely place and saw the same kitten I saw as the other day. I guess it got attached to me.

I kneeled down, I petted it and gave it a little snack.

"Run a long now. Go somewhere safe." I said to it.

It ran to the darkness were I cannot see.

I continued to walk and walk. I reached the school and everyone seemed so happy.

I have no friends. I am invisible to everybody. Even if they accidentally bumped into me they won't say a word.

I walked down the hallway and saw 3 girls that always harassed me.

"Hey loner found any friends yet" one girl said.

"Probably not" another girl followed.

They laughed. I walked. They mocked me. I didn't listen. I was getting tired of it.

I reached my class E 204.

I sat down by the window up front looking through this empty world we live in.

The bell finally rang and students started to come in. I looked at every single person that came in. No one made eye contact with me of course. Except for one person. I don't know why but he always makes eye contact with me. It makes me feel uncomfortable but it also make me feel better because at least one person knows I'm here.

And that person is none other than The Jung Hoseok.

He is a popular kid but he is not like every popular kid out there. He is really kind and is always there for others. His smile can make everyone feel better than ever.

I envy him.

I wish I have his life. I wish I have his smile. I wish I have that happiness inside of him.

But I know too well that he is hurting inside too just like me. From what I have experienced in my whole entire life and the most happiest person in this world cries the hardest. I wonder what kind of struggles he went to.

When class was over it was finally time for lunch.
Students weren't allowed to eat at classrooms so I always have to go out somewhere alone.

I always sit at this bottom of a cherry blossom tree. Its cherry blossoms didn't bloom yet because it's not blooming season.

I always tell myself that I will stay here everyday until it blooms and maybe someday I will find my own happiness where I bloom as a human being.