5 Seconds of Summer Preferences 2.0

#126: Want You Back - 5 Seconds of Summer

Luke:

Can't help but wondering if this

Is the last time that I'll see your face

Is it tears or just the fucking rain?

Wish I could say something

He wasn't saying anything but Luke truly believed if he tried he would lose his voice completely. His throat felt like sahara and he couldn't even listen to his voice in his mind. He felt so guilty of himself. It was like trying looking into the mirror or into the reflections in the windows. He was so ashamed, he couldn't believe words like that could slip out of his mouth, even appear in his mind but it did. It truly fucking did and no matter how many times he knew he had apologized they never could get out. They didn't deserve to get out, you didn't deserve a lazy ass apology because that wasn't what you needed. You needed the truth, you needed everything in life you could possibly get because that was how amazing you were. Luke just really failed to realise that, only because of a stupid fight and only because when he gets so angry at himself he accidentally lets it slip out on someone else but himself. "Are you seriously not going to say anything?" You couldn't believe the reaction he had, it was every time he did it. Deep down you knew what he was thinking at, you knew that he was just punishing himself by not saving this. No matter how many times you tried to make him realise you wanted nothing else but him he still continued to be like this. You looked down at your wet clothes as if it was first after fifthteen minutes you realized you were standing in the middle of the rain. He was still standing against the door frame trying to say something but just didn't. In the end, it was truly dissapointing to you. "I cannot believe you're still like this. I'm always the one fixing this and you still continue to believe I'm more worth it than you are. But let me tell you for the last time Luke. You're not. You're prefect." Things could have been the same but it wasn't. You truly only thought about yourself this time. It was with a single tear you turned around and left the terasse, not caring if you were going to slip. That was when Luke realised the mistake he had made and for once it wasn't just the rain streaming down his face but also the sad tears ready to come by not doing anything.

Calum:

I remember the freckles on your back

And the way that I used to make you laugh

Cause you know every morning I wake up

Yeah I still reach for you

Small tickles above the soft skin caused the small giggles in the bedroom. At first it wasn't loud, it was silent and mixed between deep breaths. Calum knew that you weren't fully awake yet he still continued to do it. Both out of habit but also because he liked to tease you just a little bit. He knew deep inside you enjoyed the attention of waking up in a sweet way. Not the noisy alarms that seemed to startle your tired body. He just loved everything about this little moment. The way you were slowly breathing and watching your chest fall up and down. It both confirmed the fact that you were alive but also the fact that you were comfortable right next to him. He enjoyed this moment to the fullest. He loved your warmth, he loved everything that made love real because that was how close you were together. He couldn't help but feel the corners of his mouth smile. It was with a soft sigh he leaned down just to kiss your shoulder just a little bit. He knew it was teasing, he knew it was sending chills down your spine because your skin was so sensitive yet soft. It didn't matter if he was close or not just the small feeling of his breath made goosebumps appear. He didn't say anything but inside his mind was filled with thoughts. How much he loved you, how much he adored moments like these. It almost felt like a dream because to him it could never be less perfect than this. He loved the morning sun it made him look tan and to make it stream on you mostly made you wake up. It was where he placed the guilt because that way he didn't have to blame himself for waking you up. But this time it was his turn to wake up. It was with tired eyes, an odd expression and eyebrows furrowed he squeezed his eyes open. Far away he heard the sounds of Iphone alarm making noises but he just couldn't get himself to stop it. He couldn't get himself to wake up, he couldn't get himself to stand up from the bed and start a new day. Because he still remembered back to the days where you blossomed up his days like nobody else could ever have done to him. God how he missed you.

Michael:

I remember the roses on your shirt

When you told me this would never work

You know even when I say I've moved on

Yeah I still dream for you

Michael wasn't sure if it was his eyes fooling his mind or just the alcohol in his veins. He couldn't help but stare just a tiny bit more because the hair was invisible from the otherwise similar shirt he had seen before. It was tied up in a bun, most probably because of the heat in the club but Michael suddenly felt very awake. He had been slumbering around the last couple of hours barely believing where he was at but now it suddenly made sense. It felt as if the at least ten tequila shots had turned out not to work anymore. He couldn't feel it through his fingers anymore and suddenly everything was feeling clean again. He could almost compare himself to sober but he slowly believed it was just his mind messing with him again. But it wasn't. Mainly not on the sober part. When he saw the face of yours he almost couldn't believe it. He had to double check, he had to look twice to make sure that it was in fact true because he honestly couldn't believe it. The shirt was what hurt the most, it was the one of yours he remembered the best and not for good reasons. "Is that Y/N?" Luke asked, finally questioning what Michael had been thinking off for quite some time now. He looked towards the same direction, "I can recognize it on the roses on the shirt." Michael almost wanted to made a small sound just in protest, how did you dare to show up at his favourite place. "I thought you were over her." Luke didn't even ask anything he just stated it by looking at his face expression. Michael looked back at Luke and almost wanted to scoff. "Are you kidding me? I'm totally over her." Michael didn't sound that believable but Luke decided not to question. He knew it was private business and if Michael believed it was that way then so be it. Michael bit down in the plastic glass he was standing with as Luke walked past him and right in the second he got the eye contact with you. At first you didn't know how to react properly, but with a very small smile you looked over at him. "I'm so not over her." Michael shook his head in disbelief and looked down at the ground saddened trying to hold in the tears.

Ashton:

You know even when I say I moved on

You know even though I know that you're gone

All I think about is where I went wrong

Yeah I still dream for you

"I always try to make it cool you know. I always try to make it seem like I'm the only one in the band with the most overview of everything but truth is I don't. I don't have control of everything that happens around me and I most importantly don't have the control of how my feelings work. It's all about messing with my head and trying to make me feel like I'm someone I'm not. I don't want to feel like this" Ashton looked down at his notes as if the words written on the paper didn't make any sense. He wanted it to sound good and poetic but also wanted it to be from his mind right away. He didn't want to put beauty on the story because that wasn't how it felt in the first place. He wanted all the feelings written down just to be real and coming from his heart. The floor was scattered in a mess it wasn't a surprise when you were a band playing hours of the day. Even though he felt closed inside and just wanted to breathe in some fresh air he didn't. He loved staying inside of this small recording room because it meant he could get the chance to just let his mind float through the room. "It's good. I like it." Calum nodded his head beside him, watching over his shoulder but had remained silence for a while. "I don't feel like it. I just feel like it's my heart pumping for something it can't get." By this Calum couldn't avoid glancing over at Ashton with a thoughtful expression. His eyebrow was almost touching his cheek by the way he was squeezing it tight. "I know what you're going to say." Ashton shook his head, "I know you're going to say that I have to get over Y/N." Calum's tongue squeezed between his lips but he still continued to stay quiet. "But it's simply not just Y/N I miss. I wouldn't say that it's just her because that's not what it's about. It's about the love that I miss between us, it's the love that we kept alive and shared." Calum nodded his head silent by Ashton's explanation and watched as he let his thoughts out. "I just... I just want her back." He wasn't trying to sound pathetic but in the end he felt nothing else but that.