: From Thoughts To Tears. :

don't cry, i whisper to myself

they all fall apart

down down down the rabbit hole

things are okay, I whisper to myself

as the yelling intensifies inside

squeezing my eyes tight

to hold them back

the tears

the pain

the everything.

it'll be okay, I scream to myself 

as they turn the other way again

away from me

away from me

again.

it's okay, I cry to myself

on the bathroom floor

numb with tears

numb with drugs

numb with bandages

numb with old feelings.

it's not okay,

she cries to me

once again

I messed up

again and again.

i'm more than okay,

I assure with downcast eyes

clipboards and silent pens

blue laptop

vanilla and chemicals

just tell them i'll try harder next time.

you are not  okay,

they say

steel gaze

firm hold

worried but strong tone

I don't want to cry.

everything's okay,

I whisper to myself

a smile on my face

lingering there

even though i'm sad

everything's okay,

it's okay,

i'll be okay

even though I bleed

even though I cry

even though there's no one there

everything is okay