Ereri One Shorts

Whiskey Lullaby (A) *trigger warning*

Description:  <trigger warning: suicide>

This is set in the 1960s when being gay was declared a mental disorder and if you were an open homosexual, it was highly unlikely you would get a job. You may also be thrown into a mental asylum. All of this never stopped Eren, who was 23 at the time. He was very open about it and was supported by what little friends he had.

*~*~*~*~*

3rd POV:

Eren and Levi stood together under a single lamp post in the misty rain. The sky above pitch black and the ground below a muddy brown. Between Levi's lips, a lit cigarette hung limply as he talked with the taller male. Both were dressed in their respective pinstriped suits and had their hair slicked back. To any passerby, the meeting would look like nothing more than two friends having a smoke, but to the two participants, the meeting held silent promises and stolen glances. 

The two had been meeting here every other night for almost a year. Levi, a respectful businessman for a law firm who had a pregnant wife just two blocks down, had secretly fallen for the taller male and took every minute he could to be with him. Eren knew of his feelings and recuperated them a bit more openly. Levi flicked the end of his cigarette away and looked at Eren who had just drawn in a breath to speak. "Levi.. I don't want to continue sneaking around."

Levi sighed, "Eren, we've had this conversation before. Would you rather end up in a mental asylum? I can't just leave my wife with child, no matter how much I care for you." Eren looked at his hands that were clasped together at his front. 

"I know, but-"

"No buts Eren! I won't let you get hurt by this. I'm very sorry that this is all I can offer you," Levi said as he flicked his cigarette out, their sign for the end of their small meeting. Eren looked up as Levi walked away, tears in his eyes. He loved Levi and every second, every thought he had with him would never be enough. The fact that Levi even refused to try sent him reeling for anything he could grip onto. Eren had had enough of this. He wanted Levi forever but he wasn't willing to even try.

Eren ran home with tears in his eyes and fell onto his bed in defeat. He loved Levi very much, despite the fact that he had married a woman. He loved Levi even though he knew it was wrong and Levi refused to let them live happily. Eren couldn't help the thoughts that swarmed into his head, the ones telling him that Levi didn't love him enough to change his life. Levi has said on multiple occasions that he won't leave his wife yet he continues to reassure Eren that he loves him. There's a point where you stop believing it. Tonight, Eren reached that point. He rummaged through his cabinets and pulled out leftover whiskey from parties and wine from "special nights" with Levi.

Eren sat on the couch and turned the lights out. He brought the bottle of whiskey to his lips and chugged it dry. He swished the small drops left in the bottom and tilted his head back as he began to cry. His sobs echoed in the empty room and the leftover wine was thrown against the wall. The red dripped down and Eren's sobs and tears didn't slow as he finished three more bottles of whiskey.

He wasn't thinking of his mother or sister, how they would find him the next morning with his head buried in the pillow. He wasn't thinking when he wrote the note, the one his mother would find in his death grip with messy words sprawled out, "I will love him until I die." He wasn't thinking about their screams and pleads for him to wake up, only changing to sobs when they couldn't find a heartbeat. He could only think about Levi. Levi and the tearing, searing pain in his heart. Eren thought about all the kisses they shared in the dark of night, the unfulfilled promises Levi whispered in his ear. Eren knew the law, he knew the threat that hung over his and Levi's head, but he was willing to risk it. However it just hit him, it hit him hard, that Levi wasn't.