-Broken,Alone,Depressed,Afraid,Disapointed,Lost,And doesnt even know why...that was her, Little 16years old Katerine from Bradford.
"Katerina, Wake up! First day at school" she heard her mum when she shouted, "Okey,im up" she said
She walks to the bathroom to wash her face ,she looks to the mirror and mumbled the same words she always did "Mirror,am i pretty yet" she looks to the ground feeling disapointed of her self like never before, ,She looks to her hands...all those scares, she's ashamed of the person she became , doing a mistake after another just by thinking that every single mistake will fix the one before it , but ti didnt! it just made it worst, she killed her self inside, she became a person that she never though or wanted to be guess why? cause she didnt know her self, she didnt know what she wanted, she was just living to live, smiling to smile, breathing to breath, she had no goal to reach, she had no one to love, she had an empty space that nobody wanted to full with love , but every morning Katerine trys to lie to her self and say that everything could be fixed someday but she did nothing to fix it! she was just waiting for things to be good anough to start, but she didnt relize that if we waited for things to be alright so we start...we'll never start cause it's never gona be alright, She fakes a smile and pretends to be okey, she wears her clother, she looks to the mirror whispering to her self "Hope this year would be better" She comes down the stairs, she kiss her mum ,set on the table looking to food and feeling guilty just for seeing it ! She've been scared of those kgs that made her hating her self,She eats a little so her mum wont notice what she's afraid of cause she never showed weakness for anybody even for her own mum, "GoodBye mum" She says,"Love you Katerina" her mum answered
-Walking on street All alone,thinking of the hell she's going to live just like she always did, Every idea comes to her minds says "you're ugly" "you're useless" "go die" "go away" "Suicide" "Suicide "Suicide" , She keeps on walking but all she hears was hating, she wanted to be the cute girl she used to be, the one with alot of best friends the one with lovers and boyfriend the "barbie" one that never forgets to smile, not the dark girl she is now,the one with a suicidal smile,sad eyes,with lots of make up on her face just to cover the empty space she has, she puts up her head trying to see the world like evrey other human but she couldnt cause she lost the thing that makes everybody sees the world like a beautiful place...she lost her self , she lost her self deep inside where she was alone just her self her mind her problems that didnt even exist and a blade, She remembers her boyfriend,best friends,and everybody that used to tell her that they are here for her,that she will never be alone, that she will always have them but that was just a bulls*it ,cause when it's 02:30a.m and her self loathing claws its way up her throat,and rips it self from her mouth in a silent scream she is alone!when the blade parts her skin,when the cuts get deeper,she is alone!when the only real thing is the blood runing down her arms she is all alone!!
-But at least she didnt want this to happen and she regreted it and that was a proof that a little barbie still inside of her .
