One Missed Call

August 3

You didn't answer the phone or call me back which has left me to believe that you're gone. Its my fault isn't it. I know said not to think that but how can I not when if I had answered sooner you'd still be here. If I had been awake we could have talked or said nothing at all just stayed on the line for hours. But I didn't and now your gone and its all my fault.

I haven't told mom and dad yet, its gonna break their hearts. Or at least it'll hurt their pride with their all star son being gone. We both know they never cared about us. Isn't that why we also promised to stick together. Is that even still possible? I know people always say if look in you heart your find them but that's stupid things people say and pretend like it makes a difference.

Well I have to go to school now as much as I dont want to I have to. I'll talk to you later I love you Kyle.

; ; ; ; ;

School was long again though it seemed worse. Even though you didn't go to school with me I kept seeing your face. The kids were mean but that's normal. If you were here you'd probably say your gonna beat them up if they mess with me again. I'd tell you not to worry you would insist that they get taught a lesson. After a while we'd laugh as you tried to cheer me up. You always could make me smile.

I had trouble paying attention all day. My head kept replying memories of you and me. Do you remember that time we snuck out and you took me to the movies? That was great. Or the time you actually did beat up the bullies. You got in so much trouble for that and I kept on apologizing while you said it was worth it. I knew it wasn't at least not to me I wasn't worth im still not worth it.

Moms calling me for dinner so I'll be back soon...bye

; ; ; ; ;

They found your body. Or well one of your friends did. I think he said his name was Timothy. The phone started to ring and next thing I knew mom was crying and dad was holding her. I knew before they told me what was going on. He said he was he had came over to hang out like you always did on Wednesdays when her found you lifeless on floor covered in your own blood. Said he called the police right away.

Mom and dad just left they said they'd be back soon. They're probably going to your dorm. I tried to ask if I could come to but they said they didnt want me to see you body. I dont either it'll probably be burned into my memory like what Ive already imagined.

I dont understand why you didn't tell me sooner I would've helped. Or at least made you feel less alone. Are you happier now? Is it better up there where you are? Is there even an up there? I wish you could answer these questions but I messed it up, like I mess everything up.

Sleep well... I dont think I will...