One Missed Call

September 22

Pete,
  He found out. Alex found out about the cuts. He had came by this weekend to keep me company. We had been at the park playing on the swings when my sleeves pulled up and my bracelets don't cover everything. He looked so sad Pete. I didn't know what to do so I just did the one think I'm good at. I ran. I ran far away from him and everyone else. I ran to you, well to your grave. I couldn't take the way he was looking at me. To be honest I was scared that he wouldn't want to talk to me anymore or be mad.

  He found me a few hours later with tears covering my face and quickly he pulled me into his arms. Hugging him made me feel a bit better. At least I knew he didn't hate me but still the look he gave me is burned into my brain. I cried into his chest for hours as everything thing hit like a ton of bricks. You being gone, mom and dad abandoning me, the kids at school, everything. It all suddenly felt like to much and he made feel safe. I didn't feel like he would judge me anymore. He wouldn't have been there if he was gonna judge me.

  After I finished crying he drove me home and made me give him my blades. It made me remember when you first found out and I broke down again. He didn't ask any questions he just held me again as I cried. It was nice to feel like someone cared about me. I haven't like I mattered to anyone since you left. He kept on telling me everything would be ok and that he'd help me stop. He didn't ask why I did it or when he just told me he'd be by my side and help me fight whatever demons I have.
  
  He's been texting me everyday since checking in on me to make sure I'm ok. At first I was worried I was burdening him but the second I voiced this fear to him he shut it down. He said that I wasn't and could never burden him. He also said that I was one of the most important people in his life. It was weird actually hearing him say I was important to him. The last time I heard that it came from your lips. Mom and dad don't even say they love me so you can imagine how shocked I was that Alex said that. But I'm glad he did because he's important to me too.

    I hope you don't mind that I'm saying that about one of your friends. Is it weird that I think I like him. I mean he's so nice and sweet and caring. He likes the same music as me, he always makes me laugh. He's got super nice hair its so soft and fluffy. I love his laugh it's one those ones that makes you laugh to. And oh my gosh his smile, it's just so bright and makes me wanna smile back no matter how sad or anxious I am. I don't know what it is about him that drew me in maybe it was  everything, maybe it was  nothing at all. Anyway I really hope you don't mind but then again you always supported me if it was something that made me happy and wasn't dangerous.

  I'll talk to you again soon and I'll let you know how things with Alex go and I promise I'll try and stop. For good this time hopefully. I love you Pete goodnight.