diary, I guess

beginning

so, where do i begin? this passed year, once spring semester ended, i really really liked this guy. he made me feel beautiful, and confident, we talked about our future. when we met everything felt right, it felt like home. i didn't want to leave him, but i had to go back home. after being back home for two weeks, we hit the rocks. he reassured me that we would make this work, i would only be gone for three months, and i'm only two hours away. we would facetime every night, because it worked with our schedules. until one day, he decided it wasn't a enough. i had a feeling that something wasn't right, i confronted him about it, and he said it's nothing, but everything else confirmed what happened. one day, i guess he finally decided to kinda come clean, and he told me he wanted to be friends, and my heart broke. i had work in a few and i couldn't pull myself together, and like an idiot i snap chatted him, and he said why do you look so sad? and it's because you broke my heart motherfucker. he left me for some other girl that looks kinda like me, because he wanted someone close, and he couldn't/didn't want to wait for me. and at times i can't stop thinking about him, even tho he doesn't give two shits about me. he said he wanted to be friends, that he wasn't ready for a relationship, but it was lie, to be with that girl. one time he had a hickey, and you know what he said? i dropped the bar on me babe. yeah right. i asked for the truth constantly and he wouldn't give to me. he moved on so quick. you're happy with someone, sad that it isn't me. didn't think after some time, you'd still have some kind of an affect over me. and im over it, i hate it i feel like i can't breathe, my heart plummets to the pit of my stomach and i feel myself crumbling down.why talk about the future if you didnt even plan to stay?