diary, I guess

looking back

your eyes. blue orbs. your lashes are long, and i was jealous. your laugh was contagious and your smile is the cutest. the way you smiled when taking a shit. you liked peanuts, the honey roasted. you're a smooth talker, do you know that? when you kissed me, it was like you couldn't get enough me, i never felt more wanted than in that moment. you made me feel so beautiful. always complimenting me, you never stopped even when i told you to. i would look away, and you said "look at me" and you just stared at me, your eyes raking my face. when you called me baby girl, beautiful, baby, it made my heart flutter, i loved when you called me baby girl. i liked it when our fingers would intertwine, your hand is so much bigger than mine. you smelled good. your hair is so soft, i loved playing with your hair. you said you were gonna grow it out for me, and i can see now it's growing. do you remember that? did you ever look back on that? like i am doing right now. i liked the way your lips felt on mine. soft. i liked the way you held me when it was storming. having your arms around me, made me complete. safe, secure. i liked when hugging you, i only came up to your chest. you have ambition and drive. i liked the way you carried yourself at your job. i liked the way you took care of your grandma, making sure she got to the store, or needed help around the house. our late night ft calls, was something i would look forward to every night. i loved talking, singing, laughing with you. my cheeks would hurt from smiling too much. you'd make me blush so hard. when you would screenshot the ft call just cause i looked beautiful, i wanted to cover you in kisses even tho i was two hours away. when you drove us to cfa, because we got high, and we ran a red light. you said "i swear im a safe driver i just got distracted by you" that was a funny moment, it's a memory now. oh my, when you said you were gonna teach me how to roll a blunt, i was really looking forward to that in the future. i still have the little lighter you gave me, it's in a my jar, on the shelf. i fell for you. i fell for you hard.