Sadness is a complicated emotion. It's tricky, considering sometimes it's hard to tell why you are sad.
I know why I'm sad.
I'm sad because the day I was to admit my feelings to Alan, the bassist for Of Mice And Men, I'd discovered he already had a girlfriend.
She was pretty, with jet black hair and pretty brown eyes. Her name, I found out later, was Abby.
She was the Merch Girl for Rise Against, and very sweet. I envied her.
But I had to move on, so I'm trying, but it's hard.
*~*~*~*~*
"Why did you agree to the date if you know you're just gonna be sad the whole time?" Phil asked beside me, groaning at all the complaining I had already done.
"I don't know!" I answered, exasperated.
In fact, I did know, I agreed to the date because John was sweet, and I needed something to get over Alan.
I know that it sounds bad, like I'm using John, but I wasn't.
I liked him, but I loved Alan.
Phil shook his head and walked back to the back lounge.
I sighed, shaking my blond head.
There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" I yelled, not bothering to stand to open it.
The door swung open and Keygan stepped in, sitting beside me.
"I heard about your predicament." she said, smirking.
I made a face and whacked her playfully.
She shook her head, smiling. "Mary, why are you going on this date? You know it's going to be you, John, Alan, and Abby. You're going to be miserable the whole time." she rationalized.
I nodded slightly. "I know." I sighed.
She sighed and stood, also heading to the back, leaving me alone.
An idea hatched in my head.
If I couldn't have Alan, then I would make him jealous.
*~*~*~*~*
I met John at his bus at nine. He looked so cute, all dolled up.
He wore a clean white button down, and he blushed when I complimented on it.
I wore a pair of black skinnies and my favorite black shirt. I dressed comfortably, because, I still didn't know where we were going.
"You look pretty Mary." he said, averting my gaze and blushing a deep red.
I chuckled. "Thank you. You too." I said.
We talked for a moment before Alan and his date showed up.
My breath caught in my throat when I saw them. I had forgotten how pretty she was.
I wanted to cry, but I forced a smile at them.
"Hey." Alan said, smiling at us.
John and I waved awkwardly back, and we headed towards Alan's car.
I climbed into the back with John and Abby and Alan sat in the front.
I smiled lightly at John, and he smiled back.
The backseat was so small that I was pretty much sitting on John's lap, which was awkward enough.
I just wanted to get through this date.
