What He Left Behind [edition 1]

What He Left Behind - One

Chapter One

The Second He Left

          Five Years Ago

 

          "You promised me you'd never leave . . . "  I whispered as I clung onto his shirt, "You promised me we'd be together forever and that nothing would ever change with us -- that I was your number one and nothing would ever pass me up . . . " 

          "Things have changed," he sternly said, prying me off of him.  The look on his face was one of pity and sympathy and I couldn't bare to look into his eyes.  Staring down at my feet, I felt a tear begin to slide down my face as he started to walk away. 

          I couldn't take it.  I couldn't let him walk away without saying everything I needed to say to him.  I always told him that if he ever ran away from me that I wouldn't let him go without a fight - that'd I'd run after him until the end of time.  Even then, I probably could never stop loving him.  I knew I never would.  It just wasn't possible for me. 

          Looking up, I saw him heading toward the van that was supposed to take him to the airport.  He wanted to go to England - leave everything behind him.  He wanted to move on, and I honestly think he was just too stubborn to admit that he loved me.  He was too stubborn to say he loved me more than his job and his grandmother - he'd always looked at me that way, at least. 

          Afterall, why would things have to be different just because he was leaving?  He wasn't giving  me a time frame that he would be back by, but did that mean he was never coming home?  No, of course no.  That just might mean that he didn't want to hurt me by giving me a date and not making it home by then . . .  

          Right? 

          I ran up to him and stood right in his path.  Whenever he moved, I moved in the same direction to block his way.  The look on his face was pained, and then it snapped back to being blank and solemn.  It was as if he felt nothing at all when he saw me and that hurt more than anything . . . 

          It hurt to know that I once meant so much to him and now so little.  It hurt knowing that I couldn't keep him here, and he had to tell me he didn't love me because he was leaving.  This isn't how things were supposed to be left between us.

          We've always been the strong couple in this God forsaken town, ever since we got together three years ago, we've been strong.  He was always my rock, the one I could rely on for anything.  Yet, he was being such an idiot.  I don't know when things changed and went wrong between us . . .  I don't know what happened between then and now.

          Back then, we were so close.  We were happy and fun and always messed with each other.  We wanted the best for one another and nothing changed that.  Now he was leaving me without an explanation?  No.  That just isn't how it worked with us.  It would never work that way with us.  I just couldn't allow it. 

          "Are you out of your ever-living mind?"  I asked when he finally stopped moving and gave me the "what-the-fuck-are-you-doing" look.

          "How can you just leave me like that?  I loved you - I still love you.  I will always love your stupid, sorry ass.  You could never man up and tell me anything first.  I always had to pry for information - pry to get an answer out of you.  Don't you get it?"  I snapped him, staring him straight in the eyes as the painful tears slipped from my own.

          I took a breath before I was able to continue.  "How can you just walk away from something that once meant so much to you?  How can you do that to someone?  I was there for everything.  Not once did I ask for anything in return.  I never would because I knew you couldn't give me the support I needed to get through anything!"