Hi, my name is Courtney. I have been diagnosed with BPD, and Anxiety. So in better terms I'm a ticking time waiting to go off at any second. I am 17 years old and live with by myself. The doctors told me I should go and live with my family. But I ignore them because my family just makes everything worse. I live in Mullingar, Ireland. It's a beautiful place. I go for runs a lot in the morning. I'm poor, I have money. My family sends me a check every week that I hardly ever use. I have my own job at Nandos. I'm waitress. I have a few friends. I'm not good with friendships. I always wind up pushing them away or not trying and blame them. You could call me a loner. Well its Thursday 7:30 and its time for a run. I put my headphones in and run. I block out the rest of the world. I go to all my favorite places and then run around town. It's now 8:10 and I have to get ready for work at 9:00. I get then shower and then put on my uniform do my hair and make up and start walking to work. I don't own a car. I own a motorcycle but I hardly ever ride it anymore since my last accident. I get to work and I see brand new cars all parked out front. I walk in and see a group of immature guys in the corner. Go figure, the people that have money and flaunt it.
"Courtney will please go take their order?" My friend Denise asks me.
"Why can't you do it? I just got here." I tell her.
"Because Louis Tomlinson is over there and I think he is super cute and I don't want to embarrass myself."
"Fine." I say and stomp off.
"Hello my name is Courtney and I'll be your waiter today. " I tell them.
"Well hello Courtney, did we go to school together?" I look up and a blonde hair, blue eyed boy is asking me.
"We did, but you and your friends never spoke once to me. Just shoved me in the halls." I say "Now may I take your order?" I am so frusated and annoying at this point. School was not kind to me. I was a "nobody." I got shoved around every day. School made me super depressed. I started cutting and after graduation I admitted myself to a rehab program. That's when I got ddiagnosed with my mental illness and I got my 4 pills a day to take.
"Oh, well I'm sorry." he says looking down. I take their orders and not the apology. It just doesn't work like that.
"Here's your food. Hope you enjoy." I hand them their food as I start to walk away someone calls my name.
"Courtney?" a random voice says.
"Yes?" I turn around and there be my ex. He left me saying I had to many problems and he couldn't handle them. Yet most of our time was spent having sex.
"Paul, hey.." "Take a seat, I'll be right with you.
"Okay well you look great by the way." he says way to happily. I hate him so much.
"I convince one of the other waiter to take his order. I walk back over to the boys table. "Here let me take these plates out of your way. I reach over the table and see them all looking at my wrists. "Its impolite to stare." I say and the snap out of their trances.
"Well I guess we should introduced ourselves." the curly hair one says. "I'm Harry, and this blonde hair blue eyed gentleman right here is Niall. Then over there with amazing hair is Zayn, then on his right is Louis, with finally on his left Liam."
"Its nice to meet you, I'll have your check right out." I tell them and walk away.
As I was walking towards the cash register I turn up the radio. My favorite song was playing.
"I can fake a smile. I can force a laugh. I can dance and play the part. If that's what you ask. Give you all I am."
"But I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human, and I crash and I break down. Your words in my head, knives in my heart. You build me up and then I fall apart. 'Cause I'm only human."
I walk back over to now Niall's table. He stuck out to me. Kind but sarcastic. Care Free but reserved. Loud but quiet. He was beautiful in his own kind of way.
"What song is this" Harry asked me.
"Human by Christina Perri. Also here is your check. Pay at the counter." I tell them and then they pay and walk out the doors.
"Well glad that was over." I tell myself. But when I looked down at the receipt I saw Harry's number there. Saying he wanted to talk. I put in my phone just as Paul walks up the counter.
(A/n: Okay well that sucked but I'm really tired so please forgive me!! I will put more tommorow I promise I just had writer block!)
