Paul came up to pay and asked to see me. I don't know why really? He made me hate myself. He made me worthless.
"Courtney, so you seem to doing better. What are you doing-." he started saying and then I cut him off.
"Paul, no just stop. Okay I want nothing to do with you. Because of you my anxiety got worse. Because of you I felt like a sex object. There is no way in hell I would ever go back out with you. " And with that I walked away because I'm done dealing with people like him.
I got off early then I called Harry. I figured it was important if someone like him could even want to talk to me.
"Hello? Harry? It's Courtney."
"Oh hey Courtney, meet at my house 1814 Mockingbird Lane, we need to talk."
"Alright I'll be over there in a little bit." and with that he hung up. When I got home I went and got my motorcycle. I was actually quite nervous. Last year I got in a really bad wreck. A car wasn't paying attention and hit me. I went flying and got a broken leg and a broken wrist. With multiple cuts and bruises down my back and down my legs. I still have multiple scars from the wreck to. I couldn't stand the way when I would get back on my motorcycle. It played over and over again in my head how I should be dead and I don't know what I did to deserve to live.
I put the key in the ignition and started it up. I loved the sound it made the way it made me feel free. But I couldn't stand the way I felt my body shiver when the engine rumbled. Or when I kind of lost my balance and felt myself falling over. But I got on it anyways I pulled it out of the garage and drove toward Harry's house. When I reached his neighborhood which was a gated community. I figured as much. I finally got let in. I had to call Harry and have him talk to the security guard.
I reached his house where he was waiting outside his eyes got wide when he saw it was me on the bike. I just laughed. I turn off the engine. I loved riding it again. I walked up to Harry who still seemed to be in state of shock. He looked around and brought me in. Which was a little strange but I brushed it off.
We sat down and Harry looked me dead in the eyes.
"Look Courtney, when we left Nandos yesterday you were the only thing Niall could talked about. He wouldn't shut up. Even when soccer was on! Look I want you to stay away from him. He just got out of bad break up with this chick Lexi, she cheated on him and he was pretty broken up about. I don't want him hurt again." he told me with a sigh.
"Well it seems like Niall is okay if he couldn't stop talking about me. Also isn't his decision who can date. Not yours?" I was quite frustrated because the fact I actually did like Niall but I wasn't going to say anything because I knew I wasn't good enough for him.
"Well he is like my little brother and he always get attached way to fast and windes up getting his heart broken and I won't have it again." he said. I could tell he was just worried about Niall, but Niall seemed grown even to make his own decisions.
"Well Harry I understand that but I don't think you understand me. Because I'm just like Niall, see I get to attached to people who I think care about me but they don't. But I do care about Niall, more than you think. I think he so beautiful, he just as something special about him. Who do you think you are telling me to stay away from him?" I was getting super pissed and started crying. I looked away over at photo of the 5 boys. They were say in the 4th grade. They all looked super young and immature. It made me think. What was Niall like back then. Was he the annoying kid everyone hated? Was he the favorite of his class? It doesn't matter because according Harry I'll never find out.
"Look Courtney." he started in but then his door open and somebody came in.
"Hey Hazza you here?" It was Niall and I knew I should leave but I couldn't get the motivation to move. I think Harry finally realized that I was crying and told Niall he was in the kitchen.
