Ezria: a new era

"It's not good between us anymore. It's just... different. Distant." A sad girl began to feel her tears form on the rims of her eyes. She asked herself, what was she doing? as she felt the world crashing around her.

A man stared back at her with pain in his eyes. His face was dead, pale like an overdosed drug addict. He wasn't the same anymore, he couldn't be happy.

What happened?

"Aria. I love you." He desperately tried for her. Only a moment ago was she the desperate one, needing him.

She breathed in shakily and tried not to cry. "I love you too Ezra."

One last lingering, gut wrenching, heart breaking kiss, and then they were both heading in different directions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arias P.O.V

In my small broken apartment, was my second hand couch, made from the finest cockroaches.

"Ar, get me a beer!" Dean shouted at me from that butt ugly couch.

Why don't you get it yourself, I wanted to yell back but of course didn't. I had a pounding headache and there was no way I was raising my voice. Uncurling myself, I got out of bed and stumbled out to the fridge, seeing nothing but Beer. Literally nothing but Jack Daniels, no fruit, no meat, no drinks- except beer. God when was the last time I went food shopping?

"Here." I chucked him his beer, making sure I was staying away from him. He wasn't looking clean, even though he hadn't stayed over last night. I don't know why he came here without showering, or why he could make himself at home on my uncomfortable ugly couch.

I was so unhappy. I was miserable. Ever since Ezra and I broke up those few years ago, it's been terrible, almost unbearable. He took my soul with him, and nothing has been going right since. My car has been impounded so many times now, I haven't found a relationship worth keeping for more than a month, because nobody was as good as Ezra, and no one ever will be.

"I think I'll drink this on the way home. Later babe." Dean got up, backing me up against the door. He kissed me like a hungry dog and grabbed my ass. I pushed him off gently and faked a smile as he went out the door.

Slamming it, I felt my hands tremble and slid down the door. What has my life come to? I put my head in my hands and sobbed, wishing that Ezra was holding me right now, telling me that it would be okay. But of course I was alone, alone and miserable like I was when Ezra shut me out. I had to tell myself that it would be okay, because without the reassurance I don't know how much worse I would be.

I wondered what my life would be like if things had of been different. I still didn't know why Ezra began to behave differently, but I knew it was torture. With closure on that I may be different now, I would most likely have less questions and be less miserable. I've gone through all the possibilities - he cheated on me, he fell in love with someone else, he fell out of love with me, he killed someone - but none of them seem to check out in my mind.

I knew where it stemmed from, and that was our miscarriage. To relive that would be torture enough, but there was more for Ezra. He carried that pain every second of every day, not breaking character for a single moment. It crushed me too, and we couldn't find comfort in each other.

If only we had tried sooner, it wouldn't of gone so wrong. All this regret and misery was dragging me down, I needed to see him to feel normal again. I can't even remember what normal feels like anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ezra's P.O.V

She kept yelling as I poured another drink. I want to say this is my fifth scotch, but that'd be lying. God if Aria were here she'd be so ashamed of me, oh wait, she's not, it's all good.

"Are you even listening to me?" Mindy yelled in a high pitch tone. "At least have the decency to listen to me!"

I almost laughed at this, but if I did she would scream some more, and honestly her voice makes me want to cut my ears off.

It's not like we ever promised each other anything, she got me into bed on the first date and expected that that was enough to be a couple and continue dating. We did go on a few more dates, but they were desperate from her, and she would try and have sex with me every time. As if I would love her from sex.

"You don't even love me! Why am I here then?" Mindy screamed, hitting me hard. It was exactly the same thing Aria said to me all those years ago, and I could feel the knife going through my gut all over again.

My glass fell out my hand and smashed onto the floor as I put my hands down on the table in front of me, hanging my head low.

"E-Ezra?" Mindy sounded scared, almost like she thought I would hit her. I could never hit a woman, who does she think I am? Stupid woman.

All I could see now was Aria crying and heading out the door, but not before I could say, "I do love you, with all my heart. Please, don't leave." It was desperate, and those were the only words I could muster up before I fell back on the couch, not being able to stand anymore.

Aria stared at me with her hand on the doorknob, contemplating on whether to leave or not. I wouldn't blame her if she left, I was a mess.

"What happened?" I knew this was the final time she'd ask, and I needed to tell her now or she'd leave.

Breathing in heavily I closed my eyes and let her walk out, crying after she left.

"Get out." I said now to Mindy. God what a stupid name, Mindy. How old is she?

With out even looking back at her she was edging away, reaching for her things.

"And don't come back, ever." I said definitively. I just want Aria back, she's the one I want to come back, not Mindy or any of the other girls I've met. None of them even come close to Aria, if only she knew how much I still love her.

I poured myself another drink and loved the burning sensation down the back of my throat. The sun was coming in through the window, momentarily blinding me. I felt dizzy and stepped over the glass, only just getting to the couch before passing out. What a bright sunny day in California.