Ezria: a new era

Its Always Grey

Aria's P.O.V

I was in shock. Absolute and total, utter shock. I couldn't move, I wanted to scream and cry, but it was such a murky scene I couldn't do it. I didn't know what to do.

"Ezra!" After getting a word out I finally found my senses back, quickly slammed the door and rushed to his side in complete worry. "Ezra!"

Lying in front of me on his apartment floor, passed out and looking pale was my one and only love Ezra Fitz. Please don't be dead.

I kneeled down beside him and tilted his head up, hearing him still breathing, but only just. Thank god.

He was still unconscious and I was unsure on what to do, so I grabbed my phone and punched in 911.

"Please Ezra wake up." I tried one last time before entering the number. The thought of losing Ezra was consuming me right now, I didn't know how to react except every movement be one of fear.

"Aria?" Ezra came to, just as the call was connecting.

"Ezra!" My voice was choked up, obviously worried. I hung up, seeing him awake, although I probably should of gotten him checked out.

"Shh." Ezra put a hand on my thigh and began comforting me. Why was he doing that? He was the one unconscious a couple minutes ago, not me.

I let myself cry a little more, and smiled at how hopelessly kind he is. "Ezra, are you okay?"

Ezra blinked a couple times and sat up slowly. His hands held my steadily and his touch was so warm.

"I'm sorry." My gaze travelled over him, checking to see if he had any injury's.

"Why were you unconscious?" I asked, seeing he was waking up more, and his blue eyes were searching me for something.

I had to shift myself away from Ezra, seeing as how he was so close to me, it was easy to get distracted. I knew what was going to happen, and so did Ezra as he cleared his throat and focused on looking into my eyes.

I'd wondered why he did this but then I realised I was still wearing my sexy slit dress that wasn't covering my legs since I was sitting down with them out. I moved my legs then and tucked them behind me. Out of site, out of mind.

"I uh," Ezra snapped back to me, having that shift in his eye where he was deciding what to do - or more like what to say. He knew the risks right now, he'd already screwed up his words the morning after he'd gotten back into town. Not to mention the countless times when we were previously dating that he'd screwed up. Words are what he's best at though, being a professor and all now.

"I have severe fatigue... I'm honestly a sleep insomniac now." Ezra looked like his gut was being ripped in half slowly, like he was in so much deep pain. Maybe I was over reacting, but god I was so worried about him, shouldn't I over react? I mean he was freaking passed out for who knows how long? I think I have the right to over react. My Ezra needed tender attention right now, every detail was important in keeping him safe.

"Are you okay?" I asked urgently, searching his body again for any thing I may have missed before.

"Yeah, I just hurt my shoulder when I passed out I guess." Ezra put a hand up to his shoulder and held it there, looking at me with a small reassuring smile.

Not that I bought it for a second.

"I'll get you some ice, here sit up on the couch." I put his other arm around my shoulders and helped to lift him up to the couch which was not even half a metre away. He was lucky he didn't hit his head when he fell down.

I quickly grabbed him a bag of frozen vegetables and wrapped them in a hand towel, carefully applying the bag to his shoulder. I was facing him, kneeling on the floor as I did so, making me feel vulnerable to the situation. I didn't like feeling even smaller, so I sat up next to him as I held the bag in place.

"Does that feel better?" I rested my other hand on my thigh which ended up twisting my upper body. My arms were crossed over each other but I held the position for Ezra.

"Much better. You know you'd make a great nurse." Ezra chuckled, which made me feel better since he's gotten his sense of humour back.

"Tell Nurse Aria about the insomnia." I gently prodded.

Ezra looked surprised, my forwardness was nothing new, but I wasn't one to shy away from a little gentle low brow humour.

I watched as he slowly looked away and then reached out for my hand on my thigh. Trees rustling, birds flying by, car horns sounding, they were all little things I barely gave notice to at this time. Ezra was my main priority and my whole focus was on him alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ezra's P.O.V

"I haven't been sleeping since when we broke up. It hasn't been the same since you haven't been n..." I trailed off, finding the next part a little to personal. I was going to say "haven't been next to me in bed sleeping like an angel" but of course that's just to much in this situation. Should I also admit that I still can't cook more than 3 meals and sleep with green socks on. No, of course not.

Aria looked away in discomfort or sadness, I couldn't tell. Maybe both?

"I just faint sometimes, lack of caffeine, you know that sort of thing." I quickly said for her benefit.

"Ezra, it's not something to brush over, you should go to a doctor. How can you let yourself be sleep deprived for the past 3 years, if not more..." Aria squeezed my hand hard as she talked. "I remember what it was like in the last month of our relationship. You could of killed yourself from sleep deprivation on the roads Ezra. It scared me every time you left the house."

"Funnily enough I don't remember being awake either. It was a nightmare." I looked into her beautiful brown eyes which held so much misery in them, resembling my own. "I wasn't drunk tonight though."

"But you thought about it." Aria said wisely.

I nodded slowly, biting my lip a little in worry. Drinking destroys a lot of things, including relationships. It's done it to us once and it could very well happen now.

Aria hastily looked in front blindly at the tv even though it wasn't on.

"Tonight I waited for you, just like I waited for you 3 years ago. I thought we changed Ezra. But you can't get past it can you?" Aria said it as more of a statement rather then a question. "You're still hiding everything inside and you let it burn like a punishment." She looked confused at the tv as she pronounced her words with venom. Her eye brows were tightly knitted and her teeth gritted together.

"You don't realise other people are being punished by it too. I used to think you were punishing me for loosing our baby, but now it's more. More self harm then anything, you hurt yourself and that kills me." Her eyes were fighting off tears, and for the millionth time it hurt me to see this.

"I don't think I can wait any more for you to get help and open up your demons." She went on, using that definitive tone I could despise sometimes. There was no telling her at this point.

"I understand." My hand was released from her grasp suddenly.

We didn't say anything more, there was just sad expressions exchanged and the slow movement of her collecting herself.

All I could let myself think about was how beautiful she looked tonight.