Phan Fluff

First Impressions Again

PHIL

I filmed my first video after Dan moved out and try as I might, I wasn't as jovial as I wanted to be. The phans all asked if I was sick and I replied in a live show that I had the flu. The weeks went by as usual and instead of buying two cans of soup, I now bought one. The cashier, seeing me only by half of our regular groceries asked, "How's your friend?" to which I had to reply, "Good. He's on holiday." the information could not be 'leaked'.

My liveshows went out of schedule as I tried to come up with excuses for why I couldn't pull Dan into them. Needless to say, I was bombarded with questions about Dan and why we weren't making any videos together and the phans craving more Sims content. I pushed it off as much I could until it had been too long since we posted a gaming channel video and this would seem incredibly suspicious.

I scrolled through my contacts until I found the infamous Catrific and phoned her.

"Hello?" Came her American voice

"Cat, it's Phil."

"Oh. Hey, Phil." she sounded clipped.

I got the polite niceties out of the way and continued, "How're things with Dan?"

"I don't know, Phil, you tell me." she sounded annoyed

"What do you mean?"

She sighed, "Dan and I split up. Didn't he tell you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Cat. Dan moved out a while back. I'm trying to reach him to film a video together before our viewers freak out."

I decided on partial honesty as the only way she would divulge information.

I was right. Her voice softened as she said, "I didn't know. I have his address somewhere... I'll message it to you."

"Thanks,"

I got the address and decided to pay old Danny-boy a visit. He wasn't as close-by as I thought he'd be. He'd moved upstate and after half-hour journey on the tube, I found myself in front of a tall apartment building. I looked at the intercom, at the button under the name Daniel J. Howell and pushed down.

Dan's tired voice came over the intercom after my third ring a point at which I was ready to quit.

"Dan, it's me." I forgot to add who 'me' was, but didn't have to.

"Phil?" he sounded shocked. Very shocked.

"Hold on," she said after a moment.

It took a bit before he got there, but nowhere long enough. Dan looked tired, strained and not to be stereotypical, but like a poet that didn't take good care of himself. He lost weight too. Was he not eating properly?

We stood there in silence, looking at each other and how the other fared. It has been four months since we parted ways. Did I look as bad as him? Worse for the wear?

"How are you, Dan?"

He shrugged, still studying me, "You haven't been eating well, have you?" He accused and immediately frowned at himself, "Sorry."

I was so thrilled that he'd criticised me just like before, "Neither have you." I smiled. He returned a half-smile and invited me in.

"You didn't give me a number I could reach you at and the old one's not in use." I felt I had to inform him.

"I—didn't think you would want to call." Oh. Of course. No person with a bit of shame would come back for more.

"How did you get my address?"

"Cat." he nodded, "You guys broke up?" he nodded once more

"How're you holding up?" he shrugged.

Well, wonderful conversation so far. I turned to look at his house. It was well-kept and orderly— just the way Dan liked it—without my leaving talks all over the place. It had 1 bedroom and a small cooking space which didn't seem to be in much use. I noticed a box of empty takeaway on the counter.

"Nice place, you got here." I sounded more optimistic than I felt

"Thanks. Water?"

"Nah, I'm good." he looked awkward without something to do so I decided to sit on one of the sofas.

"Dan," I said, frustrated. He looked up instantly, "Are we still friends?" I know it was blunt, but I had to know.

"Not if you don't want us to be." his answer was self deprecating and I didn't understand why.

"I want us to be friends. The best of friends."

He nodded slowly to himself. This was getting very tiring. "The subscribers want another Dil video."

His face seemed to say 'oh!' as if a mystery was finally solved.

"I think we should put aside our—interests right now and give them what they want." another nod

"Are you alright, Dan?" I was concerned now

"Yeah. Let's do the video soon."

I was skeptical but said, "Okay. My place for the background, though."

He nodded.

"This isn't much of a conversation, Dan."

"What do you want me to say?" he sounded annoyed, "'Play Mario Kart with me, Phil, I am bored and haven't had anyone to talk to in months'?"

Wow. That was an out first. I was annoyed by this point.

"Try and be more courteous and talkative when we film?" I replied sarcastically, a first for me. The line he settled down and noted. * sigh*

"Sunday?" " Yeah. I'll Be There at noon. No formalities. I know the house. And don't be fake on camera." I was about to ask just what he meant by that when I looked at him smirking up at me.

I shook my head at him, thankful the meeting didn't go too badly and let myself out.

"Phil," I turned, "here's my number." "Thanks, Dan." I smiled a genuinely happy smile at seeing this boy again and went back home.

A certain peace that I lost a while ago along with Dan return and for the first time in 4 months, I had a peaceful sleep.