i have never hated myself as much as i do now.
i'm no good.
yes m failing all my classes including av production.
i'm failing a language i speak because i'm so afraid to talk to my teacher.
i told j that it's been bad and i had to stop seeing my therapist because she was unprofessional.
i haven't told him i've considered suicide at least three times.
i literally just want to sleep for days on end.
i have been so angry at everything and especially at myself.
i just wish i could explain i feel everything and nothing all at once.
i hate it.
i am crying at least three times a day.
i become so enraged i can feel it on my skin.
no one is listening to me.
i feel so physically ugly.
i have thought of vegan diets so many times but it's so expensive.
i want to be thin and pretty.
i hate my boobs and thighs and my waste isn't small.
i hate myself.
i really truly from the bottom of my heart do and everyone deserves better.
i wish i could delete every picture of myself.
and i wish i could explain how conflicted i am.
my friends and my boyfriend mean more to me than anything else.
i wish i weren't so selfish.
i'm so selfish for feeling this way.
it always has to be about me huh.
why the fuck do i turn everything around about me?
i'm so fucking selfish and stupid.
i can't even help my friends with a project what the hell.
i just want a hug and i want to feel happy again.
the only thing that would make me happy right now is my boyfriend.
but that's so much pressure.
i wouldn't want to puke that on him.
i'm such a fucking bitch.
everyone deserves better.
