Deep

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Summary: Anne can't hold back the tears anymore, the feel of the cool blade is ever so comforting. Well at least for a bit.
Trigger Warnings: Self-harm
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Requested by: @AnnaKiss0
WC: 660
Here you go! Hope you enjoy!

~ Trigger Warning ~
Tears kept falling out of my eyes, my grey shirt a whole few shades darker with the teardrops. The coldness of the blade against my skin that was once comforting now stings like anything. I instantly regret everything as I lower myself down the bathroom wall, the tears blocking my vision making everything black.
I awake laying on the floor of my bathroom, the remains of my decision now dried around my arm and spotting the floor.
~ Trigger warning over ~
"Babe I'm home" I hear Phillip yell I raise from my spot on the armchair to greet him by the door, careful to keep my now wrapped arms away from his view. "And how was your day my little Anne" Phillip says planting a kiss on my cheek and proceeding to the kitchen.
"It was.. um good" I say my voice lower, trying not to leave a hint of hurt and sadness on my words.
"You sound upset. I know I'm taking you on a picnic there's no getting out of it" Phil says, I know he's trying to be caring but that's the last thing I want right now. I don't brake his spirit and agree to go on his little picnic even if it means I'm going to have to stomach more food then I've had in the past week.

I change into a flower dress, careful to chose one that hides all my imperfections. After Phillip packs the food we head to the local park just down the road.
"So Anne what's got you down" Phillip says quietly almost as if he only want me to hear it, his arm squeezes tight around my small frame and I flash him a smile.
"Oh nothing, don't worry about it" I say as positive as I can.

Once we reach the park we pick out a quite little spot atop a hill and under a tree. I lay on my back the soft green grass tickles my face and I take in a deep sigh.
"So what first baby, sandwich or muffin" Phillip says grabbing my hand to pull me up. Phillip doesn't realise what he's doing until I give a big yelp of pain pulling my arm away, oh no I'm in for it now.
"Anne what's going on why did you scream?" Phillip asks a dark look crosses over his face as he looks down at my wrist and takes in the bandages. "Anne what happened, please tell me you didn't" he says his voice definitely hushed now.
Panic takes over me and everything kicks in, my head gets heavy and black spots take over my eyes. I feel myself drop to the ground and stay there.

I blink myself back to reality a scared/worried/any other emotion looking Phillip looking over me.
"Anne what just happened? Your telling me everything, now" he says his tone trying to stay calm and gentle but the panic taking over.
I sit up knowing I'm in deep I start to explain the whole story. "I'm sorry Phillip, it's just all the comments, all the hushed whispers, all the everything it was too much for me" I cry. Once again my face quickly becomes wet with tears, Phillip holds me.
"Anne I'm not blaming you for this, I'm not angry at you I'm just worried" Phillip says trying to stroke away all the tears from my face.

That night I've told Phillip.., everything. I lay wrapped in his arms while he whispers comforting words into my hair. For the first time in awhile I'm finally at peace with the world, well at least till the morning but that's all I need.

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