Boondocks One Shots

Sex Ed

~•~

"And when a boy touches you here or here, ladies. You say 'No!' Your body is yours, and it belongs to you!"

Huey was hella annoyed.

The 16 year old sat at the desk after learning hours, with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Mr Pello, his least favourite teacher stood in the front, making gestures and teaching them everything Huey already knew. Huey didn't want to be in this class, but after Mr DuBios caught him and Jazmine only kissing on her bed in her room, he panicked.

He made an agreement with Robert to get the teenagers to sign up for classes in Sex Ed instead of a regular curriculum activity after school. Robert agreed only to get him off his case, and forced Riley to sign up too.

Tom's main reason was that he hoped the talk of STDs and STIs would scare the teenagers into not doing anything sexual with eachother.

Jazmine sat next to Huey, biting the tip of her pen and watching the clock above Mr Petto's head. Riley slept on the desk in the corner behind Huey on purpose, so the afro would hide him. The other students listened, some looked bored too.

Jazmine turned to Huey. He didn't look at her. "Still with the silent treatment?" She asked cheekily. Huey said nothing. "Real mature, Huey. And you call me naíve." She rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't be in here if it weren't for you."

Jazmine scowled. "Excuse me?"

"You wanted to kiss, I said no. Then you just had to force it."

"You kissed me back! With tongue!"

"Hormones. It was a natural reaction."

Jazmine blinked three times. She sat up straight. "Oh, oh I see. Well excuse me and my assets for seducing you out of your regular state into some sex-hunger beast."

Huey scowled harder, and Jazmine scowled back.

"Huey and Jazmine, care to share your discussion with the class?"

"No," Huey answered, bluntly. And Jazmine only looked away, crossing her arms. "Hmph!"

"Then listen will you, unless you're willing to teach the class yourself."

Huey said nothing, only glaring.

"Now!" Mr Petto started drawing on the board, and people started chucking when they realised what it was. "The human penis. Now, I bet your wondering," he pointed at the testicles, "What are those! But those are your testicles, most of you, I'm aware, call them 'balls."

"Did you really just say that?"

Everyone turned to Huey.

"Is there a problem, Mr Freeman?"

"Yes. 'What are those?'" He repeated, glaring. "Is that another oblivious attempt of you mocking black people?"

"Huey." Mr Petto sighed. "When I said that, it was my attempt of using slang to appeal to the group, not involving your race or whatsoever."

"If I weren't sitting here, you would've used a contextual phrase. Am I wrong?"

"Your brother doesn't seem to mind."

"My brother's a bafoon, and sleep." He whipped his head around and smacked his brother's cornrows.

"Ay!"

Huey turned to the front again. "Or did you not notice him because his dark skin allowed him to blend with the shadow in the corner?"

The class made roasting sounds. Riley sat up, yawning, and rubbed his eyes. "We...done yet? He yawned again and looked around groggily. "Fuck y'all lookin' at?"

Mr Petto begun to sweat. Huey Freeman did this all the time. "Now, Huey. You know--"

"Just move on."

Riley scowled at the back of Huey's afro, irritated about having to wake up and closed his eyes again, snoring softly.

Mr Petto took a deep breath. "Moving on, the human penis..."

"...I just wanted some affection from my boyfriend you know," Jazmine whispered suddenly, and Huey gave her a look.

"You're still on about that? Seriously? With the racism going on?"

"I'm mad! Huey, sometimes I'm afraid that you aren't even attracted to me."

"Jazmine, you know I am, stop acting so insecure! It's irritating!"

A student who overheard the conversation leaned sideways. "Sounds like your relationship's lacking some sexual attention."

Huey's jaw clenched. "If you don't mind your own fucking business--"

"Mr Freeman!"

"What?"

Mr Petto gave him a look and moved on. The boy continued. "I mean, my girl and I did it like what? Seven times already, and even Jazmine's hotter. Why haven't you smashed that yet?"

"Yeah, Huey," Jazmine said, making Huey give her his hardest look and ignoring the boy's pervertic comment. "Why?"

"You want to see me smash?" Huey's fist went flying and knocked the kid clean out of his seat. "You got it."

"Huey!" Jazmine gasped, covering her mouth.

"Mr Freeman!"

Huey stood up, slung his back over his shoulder and walked out, ignoring Mr Petto. "Huey!" Jazmine got up and speed walked after him, glancing at the boy once to see if he was at least still breathing

Riley yawned again and sat up. He blinked when he realised his brother was gone and his eyes widened. He took his bag and stood up too, rushing out of the room and holding up his pants. "Ay! Nigga you mah ride!"

~•~