The Girl With OCD

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

     My mind is everywhere but on my classes for the fist two blocks. Jesse's cryptic hint keeps on surfacing, even when I tell myself that I shouldn't care. He's a jerk, right? He gets what he deserves? Deep in my heart, though, I know that nobody should have to go through something like this. It's bad enough to lose a parent, but to have to deal with anxiety, too...

     At lunch I go to sit at my regualr table, and Cody is there again. I've been sitting with him for the past few days, and it's not like I could kick him off, becuase he's usually there first. Initially, it ticked me off, because I was "happy" being alone. I hope that I looked mysterious and dark, but I probably just looked like a strange loser. That doesn't really matter too much to me, though. Let people think what they will. I'm done living by their opinions. Anyway, I was used to sitting by myself, and if Cody sat at my table, that meant that I had to actually talk - or at least respond to his questions. He wouldn't stop trying to talk to me, and help me, even if all I said was "Mhm", or "Yeah", or "Oh". Cody seemed genuinely interested in my feelings. Eventually, I warmed up to the idea of actually having a friend again. We usually just discussed homework and teachers, but that was a huge step from my past conversations. As well, having him there got more people to sit with us. Since he was well-liked, more people came to talk with him, and I eventually gained new friends.

    I sit down at my table. We pray, as usual, and then begin to eat. Soon, Cody notices that I'm not my usual self.

     "What's up with you today?" He asks, cocking his head to the side in a gesture that's reminiscent of a puppy.

     I sigh, "Lots on my mind."

     "Anything I can do to help?" He looks genuinely concerned.

     "No. Well..." I contemplate telling him about Jesse. Jesse didn't actually say anything about his life, just that he understood what I was going through. I still really want to know what he meant by that, but, if I ask Cody, I'll have to tell him about my OCD. I don't want him to think I'm a psycho, but...

     I take a deep breath, and then start to speak. Eventually, the whole story comes spilling out, starting with my dad and ending with Jesse. Cody nods occasionally, and does himself credit by not interrupting. Finally done, I stop, and wait for him to speak.

     He smiles sadly, "Am I the first person you told about any of this?"

     I realize that he is, excepting family members and my handful of nurses and psycologists. I nod, "Yes."

     He nods his head in return. "It feels good just to let it all out, huh?"

     "Yeah," I sigh. I feel so much lighter, as if that old proverb is true: Friends doubleth joys and cutteh griefs in half. But I still have my one question, "What about Jesse?"

     "Well," He begins, "I've known Jesse for quite some time. We used to be really good friends, but once we got to junior high, he changed. He was on the 'popular' side of things, and that's when I sunk to the 'loser' end. He's gone through some tough stuff," Cody pauses, "but I think he's going through even more now. Be nice to him, and maybe he'll open up. He seems to trust you."

     "Yeah, but I don't trust him." I plunk my cheek onto my hand.

     Cody smiles and shakes his head, "Maybe, in time, that'll change."

     The bell rings loudly, and I hear the scraping of chairs and the rustle of papers. It's time for class, so we say good-bye, and head off to our own separate ways. Jesse's in my next class.