As I am looking out of the airplanes windows, I see my past slowly fading away into the clouds. I'm happy that I can finally get away from Justin. I don't have to deal with his abuse anymore. I am so tired of being hurt physically and mentally. Maybe the bruises can finally fade. Maybe I can finally put down the blade and I can finally be clean... But, I'm still petrified. He told me that he'd come back to get me. I mean, I don't think he's that psychotic to come look for me, but there's a lot of things I didn't know about him. He has ruined my life so much. He haunts my thoughts and I hope that one day, he will no longer haunt me... But he has hurt me so much that I doubt it. He is the reason I don't want to get involved with anybody or date anyone... not that I wanted to. I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to take that chance.
The thought of moving to California is killing me too. I'm going to live with Robert who I will not dare to call him my father. He drank and fought since I can remember. He left my mom and I when I was eleven, and that was three years before my mother was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. For the first year when he left, I thought that he'd come back so I talked to him. Then reality hit and I knew that he wouldn't come back. Even when my mom had cancer, I still had the hope that maybe, just maybe he'd come back to help my mom and I. But he didn't. That's what really broke my heart. I lost all faith in him. My mom put up with his fighting and drinking for far too long. He left and a year later I just stopped speaking to him altogether. We're practically strangers now and the only reason I'm even talking to him after five years is because my mom is no longer here to take care of me... or more like for me to take care of her. Anyways, I have no other relatives to live with. My grandparents on my mothers side are both in an elder home and my only aunt already has five kids and I didn't want to burden her with another one. My grandparents on Roberts side... well let's just say I haven't spoken to them in a while either. I had no other choice than to stay with him. I would have stayed with Katie and Kelly but Robert insisted that I stayed with him for the rest of junior year and for senior year. I tried avoiding it like crazy almost wanting to move into a foster home. But, without any luck, I now have to stay with a lazy drunkard. He told me that he has changed and that he has a new well paying job and a nice house and car now. He told me that he doesn't drink or fight or any of that other stuff that he did before, but I can't believe him. So I guess I'll just have to see how things go. Maybe I can still go into a foster home...
School is also scaring me. It's not the actual academics that scares me. I have a GPA of over a 4.0 which may seem impossible but I have almost over 100s in all of my classes which are all advanced and AP classes. What scares me is going to a new school in the middle of the school year. It isn't ad bad as the middle of a semester, but I'll still be the new girl... which I haven't really had to deal with before. Plus, being friendly and making friends isn't really my thing. I usually just stay inside by myself doing homework and studying all day besides reading whenever I have past time. Which, if you ask me, is the best thing to do in the world. Anyways, I've never really had friends and I've always just been socially awkward. So being the new girl is horrid... and the fact that it's in the middle of the school year which makes things so much worse. I know it's not as bad as the middle of second semester, but I was never good at being social. So many questions run through my head thinking about it like 'what if they don't like me?' 'what if I make an enemy like Nicole on the first day?' 'what if I'm known as the loner again?' Christina stop... you're just overthinking things. It's late. You're just tired. Everything is going to be fine. I look at my phone and it says 3:00 a.m. I have about five hours before we land which means I can get about four and a half hours of sleep. I set up an alarm at nine o'clock and nine thirty and plug in my ear phones and fall asleep listening to 'Gotta Get Out' by 5 Seconds of Summer.
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*she looks so perfect plays*
I wake up after hearing my favorite band play and turn off my alarm. I still have another hour before we're supposed to land so I get up from my seat excusing myself past the elderly couple besides me who seem to have been awake for a while now and walk to the bathroom. I take the tooth brush, tooth paste, and a bottle of water out of my backpack. I brush my teeth while humming to 'She Looks So Perfect' the melody still stuck in my head from my alarm. When I'm done I look into the mirror and I can't help but to think, I don't look so perfect. I'm not pretty. I don't have like the perfect body. I look at myself in disgust and walk back to my seat. I look outside the window and it looks absolutely gorgeous. The clouds are white and the sun is shining brightly. Twenty minutes later my phone goes off again playing 'Try Hard' and I turn it off. And it's got me thinking, I'm a nerd. Definatly... But not your typical nerd I guess you could say. Yes I wear glasses and get good grades... and maybe I read... a lot, and play classical instruments, and can't talk to people because I'm awkward... but, there's things about me that aren't very... nerdy? I guess is the word. I don't dress up like a "nerd", which I guess would be... Oh, who am I kidding I dress like a nerd. I wear skirts, button downs, suspenders, knee high socks, and flats. But like other teenagers, I like wearing t-shirts and jeans which are basically my whole closet. I definitely like fashion and if I had the money, I would definately be wearing whatever is in style. Anyways, asides from how I dress I listen to this rock band called 5 Seconds of Summer that I am completely obsessed with. I'm honestly like any other girl out there, I fangirl and secretly like to dream about cute boys, but I'm just more concerned with my education and don't like being around people. My thoughts are interrupted when the pilot announces, "This is your pilot speaking. I hope you had a wonderful flight. We will be landing shortly so please buckle your seat belts and turn off all electronic devices as we prepare to land." I buckle my seat belt and turn my phone off and wait for us to land. I look outside the window and see us getting lower to the ground and Los Angeles so far looks beautiful. I can see all the tall buildings which is different than what I am used to. We land with a *thud* and we all start to get out. I grab a luggage cart and wait for my three luggages on the carrier. I grab each one as one as I see it go by and place them onto a cart. I walk in the direction everyone is walking which I assume is the exit and see a tall muscular man holding a sign saying 'Christina Harrison' and I know it's Robert. He looks the same except more muscular and he seems to be growing a beard. I wave at him and a smile forms on his face... well. here we go.
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Hi everyone! I hope you guys enjoy it. It's still kind if boring but it'll get better I promise. I just wanted to clear some of Christina's thoughts. Anyways, please vote, comment, share. I need feedback to make you all happy and to improve. thanks! I love you all! xxAlyssa
