Together (Larry Stylinson) ✅

Surprises

Harry's Point of View

"Hey."

I don't think I've ever been more more nervous for anything in my life. I was standing there in the apartment building, a light jacket draped around my shoulders and my hands digging a bit too deeply into my black skinny jeans. I stared at the floor, rubbing the heel of one of my boots over the other. Then I looked back up at him.

Lou was only just barely peeping out of the door. I could only see half of his face. We made eye contact through the narrow opening in the door he had made. I looked into that one eye, hoping for a sign, any sign, that he wanted me there.

When he realized it was me, he opened the door wider. He seemed hesitant -- jerking a bit as he revealed himself. I knew it was hard, knew he probably didn't want me to see his new body. But it was all I wanted to see -- I just wanted to know that he was okay, that he was better.

"Hey, Harry... what -- what are you doing here?" he stammered. He was wearing a pair of black Adidas joggers and a white T-shirt, his usual around the house loungewear. I even remember him wearing that outfit when I was taking care of him. But now it looked so much b e t t e r.

He looked better -- everything about him was better. His face wasn't so thin and pale anymore. He had some color to his cheeks now, and it looked like his hair was growing in more thickly now, falling into his eyes a little like it used to. His arms were getting muscular again, and so were his legs. Don't get me wrong he was still thin, he wasn't fully weight restored. But he was so much healthier than he had been.

"Surprise!!" I said awkwardly, waving out my hands and jumping around a little. I thought it would be a cute introduction to my visit, but based on Louis' stone-faced expression, it didn't seem to be too fitting.

"I wanted to come see you. I know you got discharged a few weeks ago, and I know I should've called but I just missed you so much, Lou. So I decided to surprise you," I continued, my voice cracking a bit from emotion. "There's something I want to tell you."

It was true. Louis had just got out of the treatment center a few weeks ago after doing 2 months of the predicted 3. He had done really well, and now he only had to go to outpatient programs two times a week. I was so proud of him, and that's part of why I was here.

"I, yeah, I mean come on in," Louis said, gesturing for me to come inside the flat. I thought about hugging him -- kissing him even. But he didn't seem to want that. Right now, he looked super freaked out to see me, his eyes sort of bugging out of his head and an awkward smile plastered to his lips. I was starting to rethink whether or not this had been such a good idea.

"I..um... hey," Louis said, leaning forward to hug me mechanically as I came inside, as if he had forgotten an important chore. The hug felt sort of cold, limp. Like his heart wasn't in it.

"Are you okay?" I asked, patting his back and quickly recoiling.

Louis shoved his hands in his pockets, motioning for me to follow him to the little green couch in the living room area. "I, yeah. I just haven't seen you in a while," Louis said, taking a seat. "Or rather, you haven't seen me in a while..." He motioned towards his body, his face reddening.

"I mean I know it's illogical. I weighed even more than this when we were dating. I'm still underweight, still have to gain another stone. But, I just feel gross. If that makes sense. Like embarrassed of my body.... I don't mean to be.." he looked as his hands, fumbling with them a bit as if there were answers hidden inside.

"Yeah, no. Don't worry. I completely understand, it's really hard to get used to physical changes. The body heals faster than the mind," I said, my mind flashing back to the dark times I had gone through readjusting to my new body. It had been far from pleasant. Some days I would lock myself in the bathroom at work and just cry and cry. Even Louis didn't know about that.