it is so loud.
So silent.
When I'm with you.
Your empty words
fall off your lips
You speak but never feel.
You listen
but never understand.
You look
but always fails to see me.
you're always there
but never for me.
"Lisa, Taehyung invite me at a family outing. Is it okay?" She asked me ever so softly like it would ease the searing pain in my chest.
"When?" I try to sound unaffected.
Jennie and I have been together for almost three years and I have never been more in love.
The publicity stunt with Taehyung was something we agreed on since we're still not ready to tell our parents about our relationship. On Jennie's side, it was pretty much a mess since her mother had seen our friendship in a different light when some fans gave meaning to our every move.
Then Taehyung came into Jennie's life because he was also a good friend of Jimin. They coincidentally met on a gathering in Rose's place and since then, the guy had expressed his admiration for my girlfriend.
This act has been going on for two years now. I thought it'll get easier after I've adjusted to it. Instead, I've been suffering more and more each day because I allowed the guy to enter our lives.Taehyung was perfectly oblivious with what's going on between me and jen and he's being led to think that my girl also likes him and that they've been dating for two years.
I don't really worry about his intentions. He's a nice and respectable man. For sure, he wouldn't do anything against Jen's will, but that doesn't mean I don't get jealous and hurt. Sometimes, I'd randomly invite her to a date which she'd be okay with until the last minute when Taehyung suddenly tells her there is an event they have to attend.
I don't know why she's not making any excuse to give me some her time. I've given her every opportunity to prove the world that she and Taehyung are together yet I still don't get what I deserve.I wonder sometimes if I'm still her priority if everything between her and Taehyung is still an act. She seemed at ease with him every time I see their photos on social media. I feel happy and jealous at the same time happy cause she's truly smiling and jealous because I'm not the reason for it.
Despite the changes that took place since the agreement, I was still there. I appeared to be her best friend in every social event, in every team reunion.It's definitely hard to hold on to something you're unable to grasp. I think I'm losing her slowly without me realizing it since I still clutched the idea that she'll be ready soon enough and all these sacrifices would not be futile
"Hey, Lisa," she called urgently.
I hadn't known that I was spacing out until she snapped me out of it. I've been like this for the past few months because I was rarely with her.
Her schedule was filled with Taehyung and I couldn't seem to fit in any of her free time.
Come to think of it, I'm on my second year in medical school yet I'm still able to manage inserting her to my schedule. However, she's the exact opposite.
She only has a three hour training and weekend interviews,but I barely see her.
Sometimes it would sound hard for her to visit me in my dorm since it's an hour drive from her place. I usually take my invites back since she's not enthusiastic about it and tell her I'll be busy studying so it's okay. What surprises me are the photos that would surface my feed hours later she's walking hand in hand with the guy in a mall.
I can't recall how many times I've cried while talking to her over the phone, how many times I've held my cracking voice so she wouldn't ask what's wrong, how many times I've answered her I love yous while my heart broke into pieces.Because that's how it is when you're in love, right? You'll do everything to keep it to protect whatever is left of the burning desire inside of you.
