"sometimes i feel alone. like, there's moments where i know i'm not alone because i'm actually surrounded by people and i'm having full on conversations with them but even through my laughter, i feel like every vibration in my voice isn't striking a nerve with anyone."
she stands up from her bed, looking down at her phone that almost never leaves her side and feels like even in a generation of being close and being involved in everyone's life through social media and easy access, we don't feel a connection anymore.
"i think i'm too self conscious. i mean, i think every teenager says that once in their life and doesn't want to admit that everyone else feels the same way but i think this is my own kind of lonely."
she sighs.
"sometimes i like to observe things quietly. whether it's right in front of me or on a digital screen, i like to look at it throughly because there's something that only you can see and the rest of the world is blind to it."
"i don't think i have any person i'm close to in real life. sure, i have friends and i'm definitely not the quietest person when i'm surrounded with people i actually like, but i don't consider them as people i want to spend everyday with. i'm so scared of being judged. i act like i don't know what shows they're talking about even though i watch them because i'm scared that there's people who are listening that will use that against me. i don't tell anyone about my hobbies, what i like, or who i truly am as a person. why should i put myself though my misery of not belonging even with myself?"
she looks up to the window, to see fresh grass and small flowers on the ground cut from the inside of the darken bedroom.
"i don't think i'll ever leave the middle for a long time. and if being in the middle is all i have, then so be it."
YOU ARE READING
words i will never say in person
Poetry"i'm forever grateful for the fact that we met, and the fact that the stars made their way to align for us makes me feel comfortable knowing that the universe can't split us up."
