Bossbabe Journals

I'd Rather Be a Bi*ch Than a Doormat

I know pretty damn well that many people has regarded me as someone who's suddenly 'turned bitch' in the last year or so.

I've always been nice to people, but the problem was – I was being too nice.

I held my opinions and my emotions to myself and suffered in secret. You know, so I wouldn't hurt someone's feelings. And it sucked.

I knew that standing up for myself, or saying things out loud, or writing them in a blog will hurt someone's feelings or the very least, bruise their ego. Am I sorry for it? I'm not entirely okay with the situation I'm in, but no, I'm not sorry.

Those things needed to be said out loud, or at least written out.

I had grown tired of always being the last one to call, or not even that, of being left out, or of being treated as a 'lesser friend', or 'only a friend'.

NO RELATIONSHIP, NO BENEFITS

You shouldn't feel pressured into being someone you're not or doing something that you would otherwise never do.

"Telling a woman you're not ready for a relationship but expecting her to give you relationship benefits is abuse. It's confusing, it's hurtful." – R. H. Sin

There may come a day when you really like this guy. This may be the first guy you really like in years. But you don't want to 'scare' him off, you want him to like you, so when he tells you that he doesn't want a relationship ('officially') you may initially say you don't know what to think about that, but when he rolls his eyes, you give in. Because you're scared he might find someone else, and you know what – he probably will.

All that means is – he doesn't reach YOUR standards. This kind of person doesn't respect anyone else's values other than his own.

And if he doesn't want the same thing as you, tough. You know what you want from a relationship, or the very least you know what you don't want, so why waste your time on someone who doesn't meet your goals?

And the same goes for your friends – why should you invest everything into maintaining a relationship when they don't invest anything? Why should you always be the one friend that's left behind?

DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY NO

Some guys may call you a bitch if you say no to a date, giving them your phone number, or even accept a drink from them.

I find it hard not to give a guy my phone number because I'm honestly afraid of their reaction in person. I don't want an annoying asshole ruining my night by asking 'why'. No – is a sufficient enough answer and persistence won't change it. So I give them my number because I know it will be easier to say no over the phone. Even though I've gotten quite a few long and angry text messages back, even calling me a bitch, I'd still rather take that over a public display of crybabiness, any day.

You can read the rest of the article at: ikatbooks.blogspot.si